<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rdf:RDF xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:admin="http://webns.net/mvcb/" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><default:channel xmlns="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:admin="http://webns.net/mvcb/" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/"><title>The Blog With No Name</title><link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/</link><description>A Blog For The Good, The Bad And The Others</description><dc:language xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">en-UK</dc:language><admin:generatorAgent xmlns:admin="http://webns.net/mvcb/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" rdf:resource="http://www.blog.co.uk"/><sy:updatePeriod xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/">hourly</sy:updatePeriod><sy:updateFrequency xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/">8</sy:updateFrequency><sy:updateBase xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/">2000-01-01T12:00+00:00</sy:updateBase><image><title>The Blog With No Name</title><link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/</link><url>http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/75/5ab9ed6ee9c7727edf5eca1e90a336_160x200.jpg</url></image><items><rdf:Seq><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2009/05/23/it-s-been-a-long-time-6160732/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/10/bound_for_glory~550701/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/between_a_rock_and_a_hard_place~503458/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/ships_that_pass_in_the_night~503324/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/drink_like_a_fish_sink_like_a_stone~494311/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/planet_earth_is_blue~494016/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/work_is_a_four_letter_word~493984/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/21/the_unbearable_lightness_of_being~491422/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/the_rise_in_flaws_of_the_roman_empire~280298/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/31/the_ramsey_word~273999/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/whatever_next~190369/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/what_in_spam_hill_s_going_on~190317/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/same_old_song_but_a_different_meaning~183378/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/never_mind_the_bollocks_here_s_the_swear~178003/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/teenage_hits~175982/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/you_know_you_re_getting_old_when~170504/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_return_of_the_native~170485/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/07/29/the_guy_who_came_in_from_the_cold/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/07/you_can_t_beat_a_bit_of_bully/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/03/camera_caught_lying/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/un_gentlemanly_caller/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/britain_s_worst_rock_stars/"/><rdf:li rdf:resource="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/01/felt_clears_his_deep_throat/"/></rdf:Seq></items></default:channel><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2009/05/23/it-s-been-a-long-time-6160732/"><default:title>It's been a long time...</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2009/05/23/it-s-been-a-long-time-6160732/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2009-05-23T05:08:00+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;Perhaps too long. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I'm still here, watching, waiting, thinking. Just not typing.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;But as they've tried to boot me off the site due to inactivity, that may just awaken me from my inertia. Perhaps.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The world of blogging has come a long way since I last posted. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I dunno if my life is interesting enough anymore. Perhaps I'll just invent a life and make it up.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Or stick to the satire.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Although I should finish some of the things I started.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Who knows. Watch this space, but just don't do it all the time, as you could get bored waiting.
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2009/05/23/it-s-been-a-long-time-6160732/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>Perhaps too long. </p>
	<p>I'm still here, watching, waiting, thinking. Just not typing.</p>
	<p>But as they've tried to boot me off the site due to inactivity, that may just awaken me from my inertia. Perhaps.</p>
	<p>The world of blogging has come a long way since I last posted. </p>
	<p>I dunno if my life is interesting enough anymore. Perhaps I'll just invent a life and make it up.</p>
	<p>Or stick to the satire.</p>
	<p>Although I should finish some of the things I started.</p>
	<p>Who knows. Watch this space, but just don't do it all the time, as you could get bored waiting.
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2009/05/23/it-s-been-a-long-time-6160732/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/10/bound_for_glory~550701/"><default:title>BOUND FOR GLORY</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/10/bound_for_glory~550701/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-02-10T01:10:22+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;There is a gentleman who lives near my mother who is often involved in mountain rescue and dangerous missions to the Middle East to aid in the war on terror. He must drop everything when he gets the call and hours later he is flying into the hornet’s nest with scant regard for his personal safety. Upon his return he is back walking his dog around the streets of a crumbling West of Scotland housing scheme, anonymous, waiting for that fateful call.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351488"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/488/351488_5e6cf9ee7a_s.jpg" align="" alt="ONE MAN AND HIS DOG" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The general consensus is the man lives in a dream world. This is likely the case. However what has always fascinated me about tellers of tall shaggy dog tales is: do they really believe the stories themselves or are they just winding people up for some personal amusement. I don’t really know.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351490"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/490/351490_a42f1e478d_s.jpg" align="" alt="AFTER 18 MILES I WAS CAUGHT BY THE SCHOOL PANTHER" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;My brother once told an intelligent but somewhat naive former school mate he was going to Australia to make his fortune in the Opal mining business. Infact he was going away to England to University but couldn’t resist a bit of fun, never expecting any of his audience would actually take him seriously. This led to a rather bizarre interlude in a pub toilet as the chap quizzed me about my sibling’s quest for open cast riches. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351495"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/495/351495_986f9350a3_s.jpg" align="" alt="IM RICH" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Having no idea what the man was going on about I palmed him off. [With an excuse, of course, I wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression about any improper behaviour in gent’s convenience]. I later discovered my brother’s well spun yarn and subsequently kept the gag running for a time.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351497"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/497/351497_8c12316263_s.jpg" align="" alt="ILL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU..." vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless I have met individuals who told monumental fibs on a daily basis. They almost always involved either extreme violence or close friendships with the rich and famous. Sometimes both. One of this band of serial offenders claimed to have not only punched Sid Vicious in the face at a 1976 Sex Pistols gig at the famous 100 Club in London but went home with Siouxsie Sioux of the Banshees fame, who became his long term girlfriend. Aside from the various errors in his story, he couldn’t escape the fact that he would have had to have done all this aged 13.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351498"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/498/351498_181ec5cebb_s.jpg" align="" alt="REGRETS IVE HAD A FEW" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;What I could never work out if they knew I knew they were lying and they were telling me for the hell of it or were they so deluded that they had convinced themselves it was true. Pathological lairs are a subject worthy of further study, that’s for sure. Do they look at their empty lives and fill it up with derring do and boy’s own adventures. I suppose it all relies on a catch 22 situation. In one hand a spy would have to appear completely normal, but at the same time wouldn’t be telling people they met at the corner shops the details of covert operations. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351487"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/487/351487_3ba3fd36e0_s.jpg" align="" alt="nutjob" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;In fairness most of them are harmless fantasists but some like Barry George, the killer of news reader Jill Dando, are dangerous particularly when the line between dreams and reality become too blurred and thoughts become actions. I recall a letter in a boxing magazine many years ago. A woman claimed to have befriended an aging former world champion who lived in her neighbourhood. She wanted to know a little more about his career.  The magazine replied warning that the champ in question had been dead for years and not to talk to strange old men.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351485"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/485/351485_949f65808f_s.jpg" align="" alt="PUT EM UP" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;But for every Walter Mitty, there is a Real McCoy. The following cautionary tale proved the old adage that the exception proves the rule.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351486"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/486/351486_2b7fc499ed_s.jpg" align="" alt="TA POCKETA TAPOCKETA" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Two men visited a close friend in hospital. Afterwards the men spoke to his doctor, an Austrian psychiatrist, [complete with comedy ‘Sigmund Freud’ accent]. He grimly reviewed the facts as he saw it: ‘A very sick man. Very sick. Delusional! He says he has written more than a thousand songs! And a novel too. And he says he has made records for the Library of  Congress…&lt;br&gt;
One of the friends interrupted him.&lt;br&gt;
‘He has.’&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351481"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/481/351481_2002c7b253_m.jpg" align="" alt="woody" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The ‘delusional’ man was in fact legendary folk singer Woody Guthrie, who eventually died of Huntington’s disease in 1967 after many years of hospitalisation. So remember the next time an old geezer tells you he won the Victoria Cross trying to sink the Tirpitz or the like, he may be telling the truth. However the chances are he isn’t.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351451"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/451/351451_60c34efbb5_s.jpg" align="" alt="x-cos" vspace="5" hspace="5"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/10/bound_for_glory~550701/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>There is a gentleman who lives near my mother who is often involved in mountain rescue and dangerous missions to the Middle East to aid in the war on terror. He must drop everything when he gets the call and hours later he is flying into the hornet’s nest with scant regard for his personal safety. Upon his return he is back walking his dog around the streets of a crumbling West of Scotland housing scheme, anonymous, waiting for that fateful call.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351488"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/488/351488_5e6cf9ee7a_s.jpg" align="" alt="ONE MAN AND HIS DOG" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>The general consensus is the man lives in a dream world. This is likely the case. However what has always fascinated me about tellers of tall shaggy dog tales is: do they really believe the stories themselves or are they just winding people up for some personal amusement. I don’t really know.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351490"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/490/351490_a42f1e478d_s.jpg" align="" alt="AFTER 18 MILES I WAS CAUGHT BY THE SCHOOL PANTHER" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>My brother once told an intelligent but somewhat naive former school mate he was going to Australia to make his fortune in the Opal mining business. Infact he was going away to England to University but couldn’t resist a bit of fun, never expecting any of his audience would actually take him seriously. This led to a rather bizarre interlude in a pub toilet as the chap quizzed me about my sibling’s quest for open cast riches. </p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351495"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/495/351495_986f9350a3_s.jpg" align="" alt="IM RICH" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>Having no idea what the man was going on about I palmed him off. [With an excuse, of course, I wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression about any improper behaviour in gent’s convenience]. I later discovered my brother’s well spun yarn and subsequently kept the gag running for a time.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351497"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/497/351497_8c12316263_s.jpg" align="" alt="ILL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU..." vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>Nevertheless I have met individuals who told monumental fibs on a daily basis. They almost always involved either extreme violence or close friendships with the rich and famous. Sometimes both. One of this band of serial offenders claimed to have not only punched Sid Vicious in the face at a 1976 Sex Pistols gig at the famous 100 Club in London but went home with Siouxsie Sioux of the Banshees fame, who became his long term girlfriend. Aside from the various errors in his story, he couldn’t escape the fact that he would have had to have done all this aged 13.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351498"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/498/351498_181ec5cebb_s.jpg" align="" alt="REGRETS IVE HAD A FEW" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>What I could never work out if they knew I knew they were lying and they were telling me for the hell of it or were they so deluded that they had convinced themselves it was true. Pathological lairs are a subject worthy of further study, that’s for sure. Do they look at their empty lives and fill it up with derring do and boy’s own adventures. I suppose it all relies on a catch 22 situation. In one hand a spy would have to appear completely normal, but at the same time wouldn’t be telling people they met at the corner shops the details of covert operations. </p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351487"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/487/351487_3ba3fd36e0_s.jpg" align="" alt="nutjob" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>In fairness most of them are harmless fantasists but some like Barry George, the killer of news reader Jill Dando, are dangerous particularly when the line between dreams and reality become too blurred and thoughts become actions. I recall a letter in a boxing magazine many years ago. A woman claimed to have befriended an aging former world champion who lived in her neighbourhood. She wanted to know a little more about his career.  The magazine replied warning that the champ in question had been dead for years and not to talk to strange old men.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351485"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/485/351485_949f65808f_s.jpg" align="" alt="PUT EM UP" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>But for every Walter Mitty, there is a Real McCoy. The following cautionary tale proved the old adage that the exception proves the rule.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351486"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/486/351486_2b7fc499ed_s.jpg" align="" alt="TA POCKETA TAPOCKETA" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>Two men visited a close friend in hospital. Afterwards the men spoke to his doctor, an Austrian psychiatrist, [complete with comedy ‘Sigmund Freud’ accent]. He grimly reviewed the facts as he saw it: ‘A very sick man. Very sick. Delusional! He says he has written more than a thousand songs! And a novel too. And he says he has made records for the Library of  Congress…<br>
One of the friends interrupted him.<br>
‘He has.’</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351481"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/481/351481_2002c7b253_m.jpg" align="" alt="woody" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p>
	<p>The ‘delusional’ man was in fact legendary folk singer Woody Guthrie, who eventually died of Huntington’s disease in 1967 after many years of hospitalisation. So remember the next time an old geezer tells you he won the Victoria Cross trying to sink the Tirpitz or the like, he may be telling the truth. However the chances are he isn’t.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=351451"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/451/351451_60c34efbb5_s.jpg" align="" alt="x-cos" vspace="5" hspace="5"></p>
	<p></a>
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/10/bound_for_glory~550701/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/between_a_rock_and_a_hard_place~503458/"><default:title>BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/between_a_rock_and_a_hard_place~503458/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-01-25T02:28:55+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;The latest spying allegations flying out of Moscow from the mouths of the FSB, [the re-branded KGB] are hardly surprising. Friends spy on friends and foes alike. It is all part and parcel of the espionage community.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/_41244806_spyrock203.jpg" border="0" alt="i"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The British themselves are no strangers to spying on the Russians. I’d imagine the whole thing will have blow over in a week or so. Not that the hi-tech rock story isn’t believable, just that it experts find the whole thing a bit too fishy and convenient. A former KGB officer, now resident in Britain sees it largely as a cobbled together story to discredit non government agencies, mostly Human Rights groups within the former Soviet Union. The truth will emerge, as usual quietly in the fullness of time.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAUJGJYZ.jpg" border="0" alt="my name isn"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Anyone who has read ‘A Man Called Intrepid’ the story of William Stephenson, the head of Allied intelligence during World War Two will know there is  page after page of similar mind boggling antics, too many to list here. I will say however that Iain Fleming, the author of the Bond novels was a member of the network and a lot of his early novels more or less recreate actual incidents. Well to a point. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAQJ8D2J.jpg" border="0" alt="fancy a quick spy"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;We know from the famous Soviet spy-ring headed by Philby/Burgess/MacLain that the Russians were certainly up to no good in Britain, but British meddling in Russian affairs is not so well publicised and stretches back over the decades. Recently a growing amount of evidence has emerged to suggest British Intelligence bumped off Rasputin, the mad monk famously described by Boney M as ‘a cat that really was gone!’ &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA2RY3IX.jpg" border="0" alt="ra-ra-rasputin lover of the russian queen"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The legend of Rasputin’s death in St. Petersburg, 1916, let alone his crazy life of wine, women and God, [in that order], has grown to the extent that it is often difficult to separate fact from fiction. Popular myth has the semi-superhuman Grigory Efimovich Rasputin eating a plateful of cyanide laced cakes without any effect, being shot several times but getting back up all the time like a true Hollywood baddy [think Halloween, although John Carpenter originally meant the movie to be a spoof, but it seems no-one noticed this or the fact that Michael Myers was wearing a spray painted Captain Kirk mask either, but never mind, that’s not important just now]&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAYZCLQ1.jpg" border="0" alt="beam me up"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;After beating him up a few times with iron bars the aristocratic plotters chained him up and chucked him in the river. It is then claimed he was still fighting to escape before finally drowning.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA1NJXKK.jpg" border="0" alt="take me to the river"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;All very well, unfortunately it is mostly garbage. It is true the Russian nobles had planned to poison Rasputin. He had become too close to the royal family and appeared to exert a usual influence over the Tsarina, so he had to go. The war wasn’t going too well and any distractions needed to be dealt with, so they invited Johnny Bonkers round for supper. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA6B8H2R.jpg" border="0" alt="let them eat cake"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The plan began to go a little astray when they discovered the Big Yin didn’t like cake. And they didn’t have a plan B. Although he was a ‘man of God’, Rasputin was also quite handy in a punch up and the upper class twits weren’t. The Aristo’s  did a lot of tooing and froing upstairs like characters in a bad farce deciding what to do, whilst downstairs Rasputin kept on drinking. Eventually one of them got the bottle up and shot him. Feeling braver another one joined in. Rasputin appeared to be dead, so they dumped him outside.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAIBSTMB.jpg" border="0" alt="drink, monks, murder"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;After a few more glasses of Vodka and a bit of back slapping they set about getting some gear together to chuck him in the river. Looking out the window, Count Whatisnameov turned and said&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;‘I think we might have a problem.’&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Rasputin had only been seriously injured and was trying his best to crawl across the court yard and escape. At this point one of the fellows decided to call the nice fellow from the British Embassy, Oswald Rayner, supposedly an Oxford chum of one of the plotters.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/094-nov2005_thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="hi im a posh hit man"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;‘Hold on old chap I’ll be right over’&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile someone went out and shot ‘Russia’s greatest love machine’ again.&lt;br&gt;
By the time our gentleman caller arrived, he appeared to be dead again. So they started to carry him over to the River Neva. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;‘Oh yaw dirty bleeders’ moaned Rasputin.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Still not dead. Shot not fatally somewhere else. Probably the shin. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/093-nov2005_thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="call the scene of crime officer"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;‘Now chaps you really are making a real pig’s ear of this. Let me show you how we do this sort of thing. I say, put the poor blighter down.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Calmly the British agent shot Rasputin between the eyes.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;‘I don’t think we’ll be hearing anymore from him. Now do you have anymore of those lovely cakes left?&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/200px-Rasputin2.jpg" border="0" alt="then they shot him until he was dead"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It seems that whilst investigating the famous monk’s demise, Richard Cullen, previously a high ranking Metropolitan Police Officer, and a trainer of police cadets in forensic detective work in Russia noticed that Rasputin had a bullet hole in his head, not mentioned in any eyewitness account of his death. Furthermore on viewing the photos of the crime scene, still held in the state archives he noticed a blood trail from the house, and then a large gap and another large blood splatter near the gates of the building. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rasputindead.jpg" border="0" alt="dead cert"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Thinking this quite strange he re-read all the eye witness accounts and noticed, like the good investigator he was that they didn’t tally and they seemed to be hiding something. Accounts mentioned the mysterious appearance of Oswald Rayner, whom he later identified as a British Secret Intelligence Service operative and found evidence buried in British state papers alluding to his removal of ‘dark forces’; the British code name for Rasputin effectively confirming he had applied the coup de grace. Truth isn’t always is stranger than fiction, but it generally is more interesting.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/096-nov2005_thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="cheerio and thanks for the cakes"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/between_a_rock_and_a_hard_place~503458/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>The latest spying allegations flying out of Moscow from the mouths of the FSB, [the re-branded KGB] are hardly surprising. Friends spy on friends and foes alike. It is all part and parcel of the espionage community.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/_41244806_spyrock203.jpg" border="0" alt="i"></p>
	<p>The British themselves are no strangers to spying on the Russians. I’d imagine the whole thing will have blow over in a week or so. Not that the hi-tech rock story isn’t believable, just that it experts find the whole thing a bit too fishy and convenient. A former KGB officer, now resident in Britain sees it largely as a cobbled together story to discredit non government agencies, mostly Human Rights groups within the former Soviet Union. The truth will emerge, as usual quietly in the fullness of time.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAUJGJYZ.jpg" border="0" alt="my name isn"></p>
	<p>Anyone who has read ‘A Man Called Intrepid’ the story of William Stephenson, the head of Allied intelligence during World War Two will know there is  page after page of similar mind boggling antics, too many to list here. I will say however that Iain Fleming, the author of the Bond novels was a member of the network and a lot of his early novels more or less recreate actual incidents. Well to a point. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAQJ8D2J.jpg" border="0" alt="fancy a quick spy"></p>
	<p>We know from the famous Soviet spy-ring headed by Philby/Burgess/MacLain that the Russians were certainly up to no good in Britain, but British meddling in Russian affairs is not so well publicised and stretches back over the decades. Recently a growing amount of evidence has emerged to suggest British Intelligence bumped off Rasputin, the mad monk famously described by Boney M as ‘a cat that really was gone!’ </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA2RY3IX.jpg" border="0" alt="ra-ra-rasputin lover of the russian queen"></p>
	<p>The legend of Rasputin’s death in St. Petersburg, 1916, let alone his crazy life of wine, women and God, [in that order], has grown to the extent that it is often difficult to separate fact from fiction. Popular myth has the semi-superhuman Grigory Efimovich Rasputin eating a plateful of cyanide laced cakes without any effect, being shot several times but getting back up all the time like a true Hollywood baddy [think Halloween, although John Carpenter originally meant the movie to be a spoof, but it seems no-one noticed this or the fact that Michael Myers was wearing a spray painted Captain Kirk mask either, but never mind, that’s not important just now]</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAYZCLQ1.jpg" border="0" alt="beam me up"></p>
	<p>After beating him up a few times with iron bars the aristocratic plotters chained him up and chucked him in the river. It is then claimed he was still fighting to escape before finally drowning.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA1NJXKK.jpg" border="0" alt="take me to the river"></p>
	<p>All very well, unfortunately it is mostly garbage. It is true the Russian nobles had planned to poison Rasputin. He had become too close to the royal family and appeared to exert a usual influence over the Tsarina, so he had to go. The war wasn’t going too well and any distractions needed to be dealt with, so they invited Johnny Bonkers round for supper. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA6B8H2R.jpg" border="0" alt="let them eat cake"></p>
	<p>The plan began to go a little astray when they discovered the Big Yin didn’t like cake. And they didn’t have a plan B. Although he was a ‘man of God’, Rasputin was also quite handy in a punch up and the upper class twits weren’t. The Aristo’s  did a lot of tooing and froing upstairs like characters in a bad farce deciding what to do, whilst downstairs Rasputin kept on drinking. Eventually one of them got the bottle up and shot him. Feeling braver another one joined in. Rasputin appeared to be dead, so they dumped him outside.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAIBSTMB.jpg" border="0" alt="drink, monks, murder"></p>
	<p>After a few more glasses of Vodka and a bit of back slapping they set about getting some gear together to chuck him in the river. Looking out the window, Count Whatisnameov turned and said</p>
	<p>‘I think we might have a problem.’</p>
	<p>Rasputin had only been seriously injured and was trying his best to crawl across the court yard and escape. At this point one of the fellows decided to call the nice fellow from the British Embassy, Oswald Rayner, supposedly an Oxford chum of one of the plotters.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/094-nov2005_thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="hi im a posh hit man"></p>
	<p>‘Hold on old chap I’ll be right over’</p>
	<p>Meanwhile someone went out and shot ‘Russia’s greatest love machine’ again.<br>
By the time our gentleman caller arrived, he appeared to be dead again. So they started to carry him over to the River Neva. </p>
	<p>‘Oh yaw dirty bleeders’ moaned Rasputin.</p>
	<p>Still not dead. Shot not fatally somewhere else. Probably the shin. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/093-nov2005_thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="call the scene of crime officer"></p>
	<p>‘Now chaps you really are making a real pig’s ear of this. Let me show you how we do this sort of thing. I say, put the poor blighter down.</p>
	<p>Calmly the British agent shot Rasputin between the eyes.</p>
	<p>‘I don’t think we’ll be hearing anymore from him. Now do you have anymore of those lovely cakes left?</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/200px-Rasputin2.jpg" border="0" alt="then they shot him until he was dead"></p>
	<p>It seems that whilst investigating the famous monk’s demise, Richard Cullen, previously a high ranking Metropolitan Police Officer, and a trainer of police cadets in forensic detective work in Russia noticed that Rasputin had a bullet hole in his head, not mentioned in any eyewitness account of his death. Furthermore on viewing the photos of the crime scene, still held in the state archives he noticed a blood trail from the house, and then a large gap and another large blood splatter near the gates of the building. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rasputindead.jpg" border="0" alt="dead cert"></p>
	<p>Thinking this quite strange he re-read all the eye witness accounts and noticed, like the good investigator he was that they didn’t tally and they seemed to be hiding something. Accounts mentioned the mysterious appearance of Oswald Rayner, whom he later identified as a British Secret Intelligence Service operative and found evidence buried in British state papers alluding to his removal of ‘dark forces’; the British code name for Rasputin effectively confirming he had applied the coup de grace. Truth isn’t always is stranger than fiction, but it generally is more interesting.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/096-nov2005_thumb.jpg" border="0" alt="cheerio and thanks for the cakes">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/between_a_rock_and_a_hard_place~503458/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/ships_that_pass_in_the_night~503324/"><default:title>SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/ships_that_pass_in_the_night~503324/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-01-25T00:22:51+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ghost.jpg" border="0" alt="woo-wooo"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I don’t believe in ghosts. Neither does my brother, but he does claim he once saw a phantom couple on a bench near a church in Stafford. He was a student at the time and was probably drunk or had one of those ‘magic’ mushroom risottos for tea, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/chickben.jpg" border="0" alt="heellooo mortal"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;As with every rule, there is an exception. When I was a kid I had a book of Sea Mysteries. It dealt with all the usual suspects; Marie Celeste, the Bermuda Triangle, mermaids, the Titanic etc. All fairly interesting and provable tales but intriguing none the less, but one always fascinated me, principally because I could prove or disprove it.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ghosties.jpg" border="0" alt="welcome to my dark kitchen"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It told of the ghostly schooner the Lady Lovibond which had struck the notorious Goodwin Sands and sank on February, 13, 1748 and supposedly appeared again on the same day every fifty years.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; &lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ladylove.jpg" border="0" alt="we will we will haunt you"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The book claimed it had been regularly spotted on schedule every half century since. It was due again in 1998. Jackpot! I thought, I’ll go and have a look at it next time.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/goodwin.jpg" border="0" alt="i ain"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;So I made a solemn promise to myself that I would be there on Goodwin Sands all day long on 13th February waiting for it to appear. Okay, I was seven at the time and my belief in the supernatural was a bit less sceptical than it is now. Over the ensuing years I came to firmly believe that all tales of ghost and ghouls were nonsense, generally made up. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/castle.jpg" border="0" alt="walls comea tumbling down"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Near where I grew up there was an old ruined 17th century hunting lodge, known locally as ‘the castle’. It has since been renovated, but everyone and their uncle back then claimed to have seen the ‘white lady’. I was occasionally in the company of friends when they swore they saw her. Vivid imaginations running wild combined with the desire to tell a good tall tale rather than visitations from the other realm. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/whiteladee.jpg" border="0" alt="aye right"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless anytime I came across the book, [I still have it somewhere] I would re-affirm my pledge to be there and see this so-called ghost ship. I was now resigned to not seeing it, but I suppose a little of the young boy reading it for the first time still remained and secretly hoped it might show up. By 1998 I was working but still had it in my mind to make the pilgrimage to Goodwin Sands and my date with destiny.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAIM2FQV.jpg" border="0" alt="who ya gonna call"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; Unfortunately I forgot all about it.&lt;br&gt;
Infact I had completely forgotten about the whole thing. I recall whilst living in Kent in the mid 1990’s I had remembered, but quickly got distracted by hum-drum everyday life. I do recall vividly coming across the book again three or four years ago and the horror that struck me when I remembered I had broken my vow to my younger self. I didn’t have one of those schmaltzy rites of passage moments so common in American films but I was annoyed for a few minutes before remembering that it was all a load of cobblers. However remembering that young lad and his dream, I have to find out so…&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ladyloiv.jpg" border="0" alt="he needs to know"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Did anyone see her?&lt;br&gt;
Does anyone know if the Lady Lovibond turned up?&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/James-1975.jpg" title="this is actually me"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/James-1975_small.jpg" border="0" alt="this is actually me"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/ships_that_pass_in_the_night~503324/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ghost.jpg" border="0" alt="woo-wooo"></p>
	<p>I don’t believe in ghosts. Neither does my brother, but he does claim he once saw a phantom couple on a bench near a church in Stafford. He was a student at the time and was probably drunk or had one of those ‘magic’ mushroom risottos for tea, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/chickben.jpg" border="0" alt="heellooo mortal"></p>
	<p>As with every rule, there is an exception. When I was a kid I had a book of Sea Mysteries. It dealt with all the usual suspects; Marie Celeste, the Bermuda Triangle, mermaids, the Titanic etc. All fairly interesting and provable tales but intriguing none the less, but one always fascinated me, principally because I could prove or disprove it.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ghosties.jpg" border="0" alt="welcome to my dark kitchen"></p>
	<p>It told of the ghostly schooner the Lady Lovibond which had struck the notorious Goodwin Sands and sank on February, 13, 1748 and supposedly appeared again on the same day every fifty years.</p>
	<p> <img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ladylove.jpg" border="0" alt="we will we will haunt you"></p>
	<p>The book claimed it had been regularly spotted on schedule every half century since. It was due again in 1998. Jackpot! I thought, I’ll go and have a look at it next time.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/goodwin.jpg" border="0" alt="i ain"></p>
	<p>So I made a solemn promise to myself that I would be there on Goodwin Sands all day long on 13th February waiting for it to appear. Okay, I was seven at the time and my belief in the supernatural was a bit less sceptical than it is now. Over the ensuing years I came to firmly believe that all tales of ghost and ghouls were nonsense, generally made up. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/castle.jpg" border="0" alt="walls comea tumbling down"></p>
	<p>Near where I grew up there was an old ruined 17th century hunting lodge, known locally as ‘the castle’. It has since been renovated, but everyone and their uncle back then claimed to have seen the ‘white lady’. I was occasionally in the company of friends when they swore they saw her. Vivid imaginations running wild combined with the desire to tell a good tall tale rather than visitations from the other realm. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/whiteladee.jpg" border="0" alt="aye right"></p>
	<p>Nevertheless anytime I came across the book, [I still have it somewhere] I would re-affirm my pledge to be there and see this so-called ghost ship. I was now resigned to not seeing it, but I suppose a little of the young boy reading it for the first time still remained and secretly hoped it might show up. By 1998 I was working but still had it in my mind to make the pilgrimage to Goodwin Sands and my date with destiny.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAIM2FQV.jpg" border="0" alt="who ya gonna call"></p>
	<p> Unfortunately I forgot all about it.<br>
Infact I had completely forgotten about the whole thing. I recall whilst living in Kent in the mid 1990’s I had remembered, but quickly got distracted by hum-drum everyday life. I do recall vividly coming across the book again three or four years ago and the horror that struck me when I remembered I had broken my vow to my younger self. I didn’t have one of those schmaltzy rites of passage moments so common in American films but I was annoyed for a few minutes before remembering that it was all a load of cobblers. However remembering that young lad and his dream, I have to find out so…</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ladyloiv.jpg" border="0" alt="he needs to know"></p>
	<p>Did anyone see her?<br>
Does anyone know if the Lady Lovibond turned up?</p>
	<p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/James-1975.jpg" title="this is actually me"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/James-1975_small.jpg" border="0" alt="this is actually me"></a>
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/25/ships_that_pass_in_the_night~503324/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/drink_like_a_fish_sink_like_a_stone~494311/"><default:title>DRINK LIKE A FISH, SINK LIKE A STONE</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/drink_like_a_fish_sink_like_a_stone~494311/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-01-22T06:15:49+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/a-e.jpg" border="0" alt="WHO"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Many years ago, the King met the Greatest and gave him a sequinned robe. The Greatest promised to wear it for his next fight. He did, but he never wore it again.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ALIVKEN.jpg" border="0" alt="AH"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Because on the night of 31st March 1973 the wheels fell off the wagon courtesy of Kenny Norton. I’ve always liked boxing and Muhammad Ali and on the 2nd July 2005, I got to feel what his shoes might fit like.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/LIVE8.jpg" border="0" alt="BOB"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;For many, this date reminds them of Live 8 and the festival of rock. For me it brings memories of an entirely different kind. Despite having had my contract rather abruptly and unexpectedly ended the week before I was fairly upbeat. Something else would come along soon. Although lurking in the back of my mind I suppose there lay a great deal of frustration.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/SUNNY.jpg" border="0" alt="ANOTHER DREADED SUNNY DAY"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It was a sunny day, so I headed off to the pub for a few lemonades. Usually I would knock it on the head around tea-time and head home for something to eat and a rest before heading out again later [if I could be bothered]. This particular Saturday saw the boozers filled with fellow travellers brought out of hibernation by a combination of the sun and a desire to escape the rock dinosaurs and their mammoth back slap-a-thon dominating the day’s TV schedules. Not that I or they objected to the cause but some of the line up stank of opportunism. It reminded me of the plague of charity singles that polluted the charts in the post band aid 80’s.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/SHITE.jpg" border="0" alt="MOTHER MARY HELP MY CAREER"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Unsurprisingly one drink led to another as I discussed the events of the day and all manner of other pointless drivel with like minded barflies. Suffice to say by around 9pm I was well oiled. So well oiled infact I could be used to lubricate an entire fleet of Intercity 125’s. It is always best to quit when you are ahead and as I struggled to maintain any interest whatsoever in the reformed Pink Floyd set [to be frank I had little interest in them before they split] I decided to have one for the road and beat a hasty retreat.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PONK.jpg" border="0" alt="WE DON"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Famous last words. My mobile phone rang and it took little convincing by my friend for me to stay in the pub and wait for him to arrive. My compadre had just finished a 12 hour shift and unremarkably was eager to have a bucket or two.  So I remained in the fleapit of a ‘rock’ pub awaiting reinforcements.&lt;br&gt;
By the time the cavalry arrived I was still borderline lucid, but must have looked a pretty picture. Large quantities of alcohol seem to have a unique effect on facial muscles and you begin to look like a Crimewatch photo-fit of yourself.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA2YYREX.jpg" border="0" alt="GIE"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;As closing time neared I was in full swing and my second wind kicked in. My beer sizzled brain, fortified by [I’d imagine] a fair few shorts of the harder stuff had begun to convince me that I was actually quite sober. Given I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and had been drinking since two in the afternoon, had no bearing on this state of mind of course.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAYY0IAQ.jpg" border="0" alt="THE BOYS FROM THE BLACKSTUFF"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;So we concluded it would be a wonderful idea to frequent the next door dive of a nightclub, enticed by the later closing time and the allure of another yard or three of ale. Had we stuck to this plan, I don’t think I would be writing this cautionary tale. Oh no, not content with propping ourselves against a wall and watching the kids play, we decided to join in.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAPLBS67.jpg" border="0" alt="CRAP THEN, CRAP NOW"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The venue had once been quite a good spot for tripping the light fantastic, but time had moved on, as well as the clientele. Gone was anyone remotely near to us in age. It looked like a school disco and given the present nostalgic trends in music, it sounded like one too. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;In fairness, my partner in crime was only partially bladdered; I unfortunately had gone over to the other side. The dark side! I thought I was cutting a fairly nifty rug, but really I was just stumbling around banging into people. Generally my fellow dancers wisely kept out of my way. Not everyone is imbued with common sense. Myself included.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA3D9IQB.jpg" border="0" alt="I WAS DANCING WHEN I WAS 12"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It seems there is a trend these days for young turks to stand about on the dance floor, not even attempting to dance, save for the occasional communal hug type dance, which isn’t very pretty to watch. It has always been my one of my philosophies that if you can’t dance, watch from the sidelines.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAOD63K1.jpg" border="0" alt="GEORGIE, GEORGIE, GEORGIE, THE BELFAST BOY"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; But then my philosophy also extends to a beer fuelled Georgie Best-esque notion that it is my ball. In days gone by, it was always thought to be important to take the dance floor with mind boggling moves early on so you had plenty room to manoeuvre. But like Ali, we all go to the well a few times too many and well, it was a recipe for disaster.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CASPGHQR.jpg" border="0" alt="AH,AH, AH, AH"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;A lanky clubber took umbrage to the peculiar rumba I was demonstrating and took me up about it.&lt;br&gt;
‘Stop banging into me!’&lt;br&gt;
I apologised to him. However he dismissed my attempts to make amends and repeated himself. I repeated my apology and pointed out to him that given the dance floor was a little busy, he ought to perhaps stand somewhere else. I reasoned if he did this, it would lessen the chances of it happening again.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAO1WR7X.jpg" border="0" alt="YOU SAY TAMATO, I SAY GET IT RIGHT UP YE"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;He seemed to accept my rationale; however one of his two companions provided me with his tuppence worth, which was more or less the same argument as his taller brethren. It was clear they had no intentions of giving an inch. And number two seemed to take exception to my friendly advice. I was in the process of repeating this now familiar mantra when someone turned the lights out.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAC1Y7W3.jpg" border="0" alt="EH?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I had fallen victim to a classic ambush. As I debated with one and two, clown number three snuck up behind me and pole axed me. They say in boxing the ones you don’t see hit you the hardest. That is true to a point. I never felt it, heard it or saw it.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA8T6LYH.jpg" border="0" alt="DIDN"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I don’t know how long I had been out for, a minute or two. It could have been three weeks for all I knew. I had only ever been knocked unconscious once before when I had been ran down as an eight year old. It may not surprise you to learn it was at a set of traffic lights. [I have an uncanny knack that way.] I find it rather like when you accidentally erase part of a tape. There is nothing there. You have everything right up to the moment, nothing, and then the music starts again. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAMH8HW9.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I quickly got up, thinking ‘how did I get down here, everyone seems a lot taller’. I then realised what had happened. I also realised I had a very sore face. The inside of my mouth felt like a mining disaster. One of my molars appeared to have mutated into some kind of rock formation. My mouth was bleeding as was my lips. One of the bouncers, a friend of mine and an amateur boxer seemed concerned for me.&lt;br&gt;
‘I think you might have broken your jaw.’&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CALO0NPP.jpg" border="0" alt="I WAS LAUGHING AT HIM"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I remember watching an interview with Ali many years ago. He was asked if he knew Ken Norton had broken his jaw in the second round in the first of their three classic encounters. Ali seemed amazed to have been asked the question. ‘Of course not, do you think I would have continued taking all those punches, hard punches if I did?’ At the time I just thought, yeah, there’s Ali being his usual mad driven self, throwing caution and his health to the wind for the sake of a win. I don’t anymore. It wasn’t really as sore as you would think. Maybe the brain switches off some of the pain sensors. I don’t know. But then I had had umpteen pints. All Ali got was another ten rounds of similar punishment.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAO9YJ7F.jpg" border="0" alt="FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A BEE, RUMBLE YOUNG MAN, RUMBLE"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The moral of this story is there is only one Greatest and if you are going to dance, keep your guard up and your mouth shut.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/drink_like_a_fish_sink_like_a_stone~494311/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/a-e.jpg" border="0" alt="WHO"></p>
	<p>Many years ago, the King met the Greatest and gave him a sequinned robe. The Greatest promised to wear it for his next fight. He did, but he never wore it again.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ALIVKEN.jpg" border="0" alt="AH"></p>
	<p>Because on the night of 31st March 1973 the wheels fell off the wagon courtesy of Kenny Norton. I’ve always liked boxing and Muhammad Ali and on the 2nd July 2005, I got to feel what his shoes might fit like.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/LIVE8.jpg" border="0" alt="BOB"></p>
	<p>For many, this date reminds them of Live 8 and the festival of rock. For me it brings memories of an entirely different kind. Despite having had my contract rather abruptly and unexpectedly ended the week before I was fairly upbeat. Something else would come along soon. Although lurking in the back of my mind I suppose there lay a great deal of frustration.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/SUNNY.jpg" border="0" alt="ANOTHER DREADED SUNNY DAY"></p>
	<p>It was a sunny day, so I headed off to the pub for a few lemonades. Usually I would knock it on the head around tea-time and head home for something to eat and a rest before heading out again later [if I could be bothered]. This particular Saturday saw the boozers filled with fellow travellers brought out of hibernation by a combination of the sun and a desire to escape the rock dinosaurs and their mammoth back slap-a-thon dominating the day’s TV schedules. Not that I or they objected to the cause but some of the line up stank of opportunism. It reminded me of the plague of charity singles that polluted the charts in the post band aid 80’s.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/SHITE.jpg" border="0" alt="MOTHER MARY HELP MY CAREER"></p>
	<p>Unsurprisingly one drink led to another as I discussed the events of the day and all manner of other pointless drivel with like minded barflies. Suffice to say by around 9pm I was well oiled. So well oiled infact I could be used to lubricate an entire fleet of Intercity 125’s. It is always best to quit when you are ahead and as I struggled to maintain any interest whatsoever in the reformed Pink Floyd set [to be frank I had little interest in them before they split] I decided to have one for the road and beat a hasty retreat.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PONK.jpg" border="0" alt="WE DON"></p>
	<p>Famous last words. My mobile phone rang and it took little convincing by my friend for me to stay in the pub and wait for him to arrive. My compadre had just finished a 12 hour shift and unremarkably was eager to have a bucket or two.  So I remained in the fleapit of a ‘rock’ pub awaiting reinforcements.<br>
By the time the cavalry arrived I was still borderline lucid, but must have looked a pretty picture. Large quantities of alcohol seem to have a unique effect on facial muscles and you begin to look like a Crimewatch photo-fit of yourself.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA2YYREX.jpg" border="0" alt="GIE"></p>
	<p>As closing time neared I was in full swing and my second wind kicked in. My beer sizzled brain, fortified by [I’d imagine] a fair few shorts of the harder stuff had begun to convince me that I was actually quite sober. Given I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and had been drinking since two in the afternoon, had no bearing on this state of mind of course.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAYY0IAQ.jpg" border="0" alt="THE BOYS FROM THE BLACKSTUFF"></p>
	<p>So we concluded it would be a wonderful idea to frequent the next door dive of a nightclub, enticed by the later closing time and the allure of another yard or three of ale. Had we stuck to this plan, I don’t think I would be writing this cautionary tale. Oh no, not content with propping ourselves against a wall and watching the kids play, we decided to join in.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAPLBS67.jpg" border="0" alt="CRAP THEN, CRAP NOW"></p>
	<p>The venue had once been quite a good spot for tripping the light fantastic, but time had moved on, as well as the clientele. Gone was anyone remotely near to us in age. It looked like a school disco and given the present nostalgic trends in music, it sounded like one too. </p>
	<p>In fairness, my partner in crime was only partially bladdered; I unfortunately had gone over to the other side. The dark side! I thought I was cutting a fairly nifty rug, but really I was just stumbling around banging into people. Generally my fellow dancers wisely kept out of my way. Not everyone is imbued with common sense. Myself included.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA3D9IQB.jpg" border="0" alt="I WAS DANCING WHEN I WAS 12"></p>
	<p>It seems there is a trend these days for young turks to stand about on the dance floor, not even attempting to dance, save for the occasional communal hug type dance, which isn’t very pretty to watch. It has always been my one of my philosophies that if you can’t dance, watch from the sidelines.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAOD63K1.jpg" border="0" alt="GEORGIE, GEORGIE, GEORGIE, THE BELFAST BOY"></p>
	<p> But then my philosophy also extends to a beer fuelled Georgie Best-esque notion that it is my ball. In days gone by, it was always thought to be important to take the dance floor with mind boggling moves early on so you had plenty room to manoeuvre. But like Ali, we all go to the well a few times too many and well, it was a recipe for disaster.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CASPGHQR.jpg" border="0" alt="AH,AH, AH, AH"></p>
	<p>A lanky clubber took umbrage to the peculiar rumba I was demonstrating and took me up about it.<br>
‘Stop banging into me!’<br>
I apologised to him. However he dismissed my attempts to make amends and repeated himself. I repeated my apology and pointed out to him that given the dance floor was a little busy, he ought to perhaps stand somewhere else. I reasoned if he did this, it would lessen the chances of it happening again.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAO1WR7X.jpg" border="0" alt="YOU SAY TAMATO, I SAY GET IT RIGHT UP YE"></p>
	<p>He seemed to accept my rationale; however one of his two companions provided me with his tuppence worth, which was more or less the same argument as his taller brethren. It was clear they had no intentions of giving an inch. And number two seemed to take exception to my friendly advice. I was in the process of repeating this now familiar mantra when someone turned the lights out.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAC1Y7W3.jpg" border="0" alt="EH?"></p>
	<p>I had fallen victim to a classic ambush. As I debated with one and two, clown number three snuck up behind me and pole axed me. They say in boxing the ones you don’t see hit you the hardest. That is true to a point. I never felt it, heard it or saw it.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA8T6LYH.jpg" border="0" alt="DIDN"></p>
	<p>I don’t know how long I had been out for, a minute or two. It could have been three weeks for all I knew. I had only ever been knocked unconscious once before when I had been ran down as an eight year old. It may not surprise you to learn it was at a set of traffic lights. [I have an uncanny knack that way.] I find it rather like when you accidentally erase part of a tape. There is nothing there. You have everything right up to the moment, nothing, and then the music starts again. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAMH8HW9.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>I quickly got up, thinking ‘how did I get down here, everyone seems a lot taller’. I then realised what had happened. I also realised I had a very sore face. The inside of my mouth felt like a mining disaster. One of my molars appeared to have mutated into some kind of rock formation. My mouth was bleeding as was my lips. One of the bouncers, a friend of mine and an amateur boxer seemed concerned for me.<br>
‘I think you might have broken your jaw.’</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CALO0NPP.jpg" border="0" alt="I WAS LAUGHING AT HIM"></p>
	<p>I remember watching an interview with Ali many years ago. He was asked if he knew Ken Norton had broken his jaw in the second round in the first of their three classic encounters. Ali seemed amazed to have been asked the question. ‘Of course not, do you think I would have continued taking all those punches, hard punches if I did?’ At the time I just thought, yeah, there’s Ali being his usual mad driven self, throwing caution and his health to the wind for the sake of a win. I don’t anymore. It wasn’t really as sore as you would think. Maybe the brain switches off some of the pain sensors. I don’t know. But then I had had umpteen pints. All Ali got was another ten rounds of similar punishment.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAO9YJ7F.jpg" border="0" alt="FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A BEE, RUMBLE YOUNG MAN, RUMBLE"></p>
	<p>The moral of this story is there is only one Greatest and if you are going to dance, keep your guard up and your mouth shut.</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/drink_like_a_fish_sink_like_a_stone~494311/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/planet_earth_is_blue~494016/"><default:title>PLANET EARTH IS BLUE</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/planet_earth_is_blue~494016/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-01-22T01:00:30+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;What are we all on? By this I do not mean drugs although I would wager many are. No we are, quite simply on a planet. Just a lump of rock, billions of years old floating around in space.&lt;br&gt;
However we humans are obsessed with the bloody thing. Some say we are ruining it; some say wait and see, and some don’t care. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ERTHY.jpg" border="0" alt="TAKE YOUR PROTEIN PILLS AND PUT YOUR HELMET ON"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The current debate raging in Britain about should we have more nuclear power stations is an interesting one. But one with no answer as far as I can see. Let’s look at the facts.&lt;br&gt;
Nuclear power is a bit dangerous, but they argue better for the environment [barring core meltdown- Chicken Kiev anyone?] &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CHERNOBAL.jpg" border="0" alt="CAUSE YER NOB"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; than fossil fuel plants, then others say we need wind farms and hydro-electric plants but then the same people earlier in the chain say ‘oh we can’t have them they are so ugly and ruin the countryside can’t we have a nuclear power station behind those tall trees?’ What about the recent evidence of plants naturally releasing methane and thus adding to the greenhouse effect?  I see it as a catch 22 situation myself. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/MOO.jpg" border="0" alt="DID YOU FART?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Infact the whole global warming debate is dubious if you ask me. I’m not one of these conspiracy nuts before the two of you out there reading start typing your reply. but it does seem to smell of we can’t have the third world industrialising and spoiling all those lovely unspoilt places we go on holiday to with smelly factories and heavy industry. I’m quite sure the same landed gentry in this fair isle voiced the same concerns in the 19th century about preserving the countryside. Wait a minute. I think they are still saying that. Well as old Oscar said ‘They are the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable. Maybe the blood sport ban was revenge for the miners, the steel workers and the shipyards. Who’d have thought Maggie Thatcher was really an eco-warrior in disguise.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAA3SLAB.jpg" border="0" alt="BRING ME THE HEAD OF MICHAEL HESLETINE"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I’m getting side tracked here though. My main point stems from those lovely ads on TV about carbon footprints. Global warming, that great cause of those with too little on their minds to worry about other than the fate of their great, great, great grandchildren. A sizeable percentage of the population of this little globe are too busy trying not to die tomorrow than worry about thinning ozone. The jury still being out on that one. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAWDA74X.jpg" border="0" alt="OUCH"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;One gentleman, feeling himself to be quite profound tells us smugly that we are destroying the planet’s ability to heal itself. Really? What he doesn’t seem to be considering and I doubt anyone else has is that this planet wasn’t made for us. I am not going to get involved with notions of higher beings or the like, but evidence would suggest a lot of other creatures have had the run of the place before us and we know that a great deal of them will continue to survive without us killing them all the time. I suggest that it is a bit big headed in a cosmic sense to think that the planet is unable to heal itself for our benefit. I think rather Mother Earth is trying to shake off a little virus, a skin disease it has and the universe’s GP has suggested she cut down on the ozone for a few millennia and the nasty little buggers will go somewhere else or die off.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CACH6FO9.jpg" border="0" alt="THANKS MARS I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Or put another way, Human knowledge of the planet is scant at best. Since we have only been forced to accept there are other planets out with our solar system, how can we pretend to know everything there is to know about such heavenly bodies? Our atmosphere could be changing in an organic way. We simply do not know for sure. But one thing is a dead cert; this spinning blob of matter will be here long after we frail humans are gone. Mind you by then the cockroaches will be as big as buses.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA2NGPMR.jpg" border="0" alt="DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/planet_earth_is_blue~494016/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>What are we all on? By this I do not mean drugs although I would wager many are. No we are, quite simply on a planet. Just a lump of rock, billions of years old floating around in space.<br>
However we humans are obsessed with the bloody thing. Some say we are ruining it; some say wait and see, and some don’t care. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ERTHY.jpg" border="0" alt="TAKE YOUR PROTEIN PILLS AND PUT YOUR HELMET ON"></p>
	<p>The current debate raging in Britain about should we have more nuclear power stations is an interesting one. But one with no answer as far as I can see. Let’s look at the facts.<br>
Nuclear power is a bit dangerous, but they argue better for the environment [barring core meltdown- Chicken Kiev anyone?] </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CHERNOBAL.jpg" border="0" alt="CAUSE YER NOB"></p>
	<p> than fossil fuel plants, then others say we need wind farms and hydro-electric plants but then the same people earlier in the chain say ‘oh we can’t have them they are so ugly and ruin the countryside can’t we have a nuclear power station behind those tall trees?’ What about the recent evidence of plants naturally releasing methane and thus adding to the greenhouse effect?  I see it as a catch 22 situation myself. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/MOO.jpg" border="0" alt="DID YOU FART?"></p>
	<p>Infact the whole global warming debate is dubious if you ask me. I’m not one of these conspiracy nuts before the two of you out there reading start typing your reply. but it does seem to smell of we can’t have the third world industrialising and spoiling all those lovely unspoilt places we go on holiday to with smelly factories and heavy industry. I’m quite sure the same landed gentry in this fair isle voiced the same concerns in the 19th century about preserving the countryside. Wait a minute. I think they are still saying that. Well as old Oscar said ‘They are the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable. Maybe the blood sport ban was revenge for the miners, the steel workers and the shipyards. Who’d have thought Maggie Thatcher was really an eco-warrior in disguise.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAA3SLAB.jpg" border="0" alt="BRING ME THE HEAD OF MICHAEL HESLETINE"></p>
	<p>I’m getting side tracked here though. My main point stems from those lovely ads on TV about carbon footprints. Global warming, that great cause of those with too little on their minds to worry about other than the fate of their great, great, great grandchildren. A sizeable percentage of the population of this little globe are too busy trying not to die tomorrow than worry about thinning ozone. The jury still being out on that one. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAWDA74X.jpg" border="0" alt="OUCH"></p>
	<p>One gentleman, feeling himself to be quite profound tells us smugly that we are destroying the planet’s ability to heal itself. Really? What he doesn’t seem to be considering and I doubt anyone else has is that this planet wasn’t made for us. I am not going to get involved with notions of higher beings or the like, but evidence would suggest a lot of other creatures have had the run of the place before us and we know that a great deal of them will continue to survive without us killing them all the time. I suggest that it is a bit big headed in a cosmic sense to think that the planet is unable to heal itself for our benefit. I think rather Mother Earth is trying to shake off a little virus, a skin disease it has and the universe’s GP has suggested she cut down on the ozone for a few millennia and the nasty little buggers will go somewhere else or die off.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CACH6FO9.jpg" border="0" alt="THANKS MARS I"></p>
	<p>Or put another way, Human knowledge of the planet is scant at best. Since we have only been forced to accept there are other planets out with our solar system, how can we pretend to know everything there is to know about such heavenly bodies? Our atmosphere could be changing in an organic way. We simply do not know for sure. But one thing is a dead cert; this spinning blob of matter will be here long after we frail humans are gone. Mind you by then the cockroaches will be as big as buses.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA2NGPMR.jpg" border="0" alt="DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/planet_earth_is_blue~494016/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/work_is_a_four_letter_word~493984/"><default:title>WORK IS A FOUR LETTER WORD</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/work_is_a_four_letter_word~493984/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-01-22T00:40:21+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;Or so the saying goes. Having been a gentleman of leisure for the past few months, one would have thought I would have acres of spare time to devote to trivial pursuits such as posting my witty and urbane reflections on this here blog.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/FOP.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I have discovered this not to be the case. There are many reasons why, some I shall touch upon in other posts, but principally, I have come to firmly believe in a something that had previously been only a notion: - The internet is in fact a distraction in itself.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/NETO.jpg" border="0" alt="THE SUPER HIGHWAY"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;A great deal has been written about the advances in technology, but really they are updated ways of doing things we have done for years. E-mail – telegrams, texting, same thing. Both are different ways of going about the same basic idea of sending a letter.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/KENTELE.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;As for mobile phones, I suppose they are becoming a necessary evil of sorts, but I still like comedian Pete McCarthy’s observation about the problem the infernal devices posed to travelling salesmen trying to remain anonymous, or indeed anyone for that matter. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/SALESMAN.jpg" border="0" alt="I FLUNKED MATH DAD"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It is becoming increasingly difficult to disappear from radar these days. If you don’t answer your phone for some time don’t be surprised if someone phones the police or at least frantically calls your nearest and dearest to make sure you haven’t fell foul of some skulduggery.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PRESS-GANG.jpg" border="0" alt="WHERE"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;E-mail is much the same. I recall the internet being a far more interesting place in the early days. I first surfed the ‘information super-highway’ as we once optimistically called it around 1997.  You could actually find things you wanted too- like the Zapruder film [before the owners of the rights got wind of it and started selling it]. But again I was at work- not doing my work. I reckon the most prolific bloggers, blog at work. Can anyone remember how we avoided doing work in the old pre-internet days? &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/BOREDOFF.jpg" border="0" alt="LET"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Thing about it... those clever fellows out there in cyberspace who invented this highway of dreams, were no doubt skiving off doing their actual work and trying to work out a way to send silly messages to each other without the boss getting wind of it. And thus the ultimate waste of time was born.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/POSTIT.jpg" border="0" alt="MY FAVOURITE WASTE OF TIME"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/work_is_a_four_letter_word~493984/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>Or so the saying goes. Having been a gentleman of leisure for the past few months, one would have thought I would have acres of spare time to devote to trivial pursuits such as posting my witty and urbane reflections on this here blog.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/FOP.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>I have discovered this not to be the case. There are many reasons why, some I shall touch upon in other posts, but principally, I have come to firmly believe in a something that had previously been only a notion: - The internet is in fact a distraction in itself.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/NETO.jpg" border="0" alt="THE SUPER HIGHWAY"></p>
	<p>A great deal has been written about the advances in technology, but really they are updated ways of doing things we have done for years. E-mail – telegrams, texting, same thing. Both are different ways of going about the same basic idea of sending a letter.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/KENTELE.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>As for mobile phones, I suppose they are becoming a necessary evil of sorts, but I still like comedian Pete McCarthy’s observation about the problem the infernal devices posed to travelling salesmen trying to remain anonymous, or indeed anyone for that matter. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/SALESMAN.jpg" border="0" alt="I FLUNKED MATH DAD"></p>
	<p>It is becoming increasingly difficult to disappear from radar these days. If you don’t answer your phone for some time don’t be surprised if someone phones the police or at least frantically calls your nearest and dearest to make sure you haven’t fell foul of some skulduggery.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PRESS-GANG.jpg" border="0" alt="WHERE"></p>
	<p>E-mail is much the same. I recall the internet being a far more interesting place in the early days. I first surfed the ‘information super-highway’ as we once optimistically called it around 1997.  You could actually find things you wanted too- like the Zapruder film [before the owners of the rights got wind of it and started selling it]. But again I was at work- not doing my work. I reckon the most prolific bloggers, blog at work. Can anyone remember how we avoided doing work in the old pre-internet days? </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/BOREDOFF.jpg" border="0" alt="LET"></p>
	<p>Thing about it... those clever fellows out there in cyberspace who invented this highway of dreams, were no doubt skiving off doing their actual work and trying to work out a way to send silly messages to each other without the boss getting wind of it. And thus the ultimate waste of time was born.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/POSTIT.jpg" border="0" alt="MY FAVOURITE WASTE OF TIME">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/22/work_is_a_four_letter_word~493984/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/21/the_unbearable_lightness_of_being~491422/"><default:title>THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/21/the_unbearable_lightness_of_being~491422/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2006-01-21T04:54:21+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;I am currently experiencing this phenomenon. Am I alone?&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nebraska.jpg" border="0" alt="Well sir there"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/21/the_unbearable_lightness_of_being~491422/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>I am currently experiencing this phenomenon. Am I alone?</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nebraska.jpg" border="0" alt="Well sir there">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/21/the_unbearable_lightness_of_being~491422/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/the_rise_in_flaws_of_the_roman_empire~280298/"><default:title>The Rise In Flaws Of The Roman Empire</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/the_rise_in_flaws_of_the_roman_empire~280298/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-11-03T13:12:21+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rome.jpg" border="0" alt="I came, i saw, bought the t-shirt"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I settled down to watch Rome, the latest Sword and Sandals epic to hit our screens. Given its pedigree, a BBC/HBO mongrel, I had high hopes; a big budget, respectable cast and the promise of historical accuracy. Of course, in tandem I also entertained the possibility it could be: ‘A Funny Thing Happened to Mark Anthony Soprano on the Deadwoodos Chariot on the Way to the Forum’. I wasn’t disappointed on either front. On the whole I found it watch-able hokum.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Potoris [pardon my latin throughout]&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rab.jpg" border="0" alt="I drank the brutus 33"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless, I sat there waiting [eagerly, I must confess] for the usual historical continuity mistakes. Regrettably, there appeared to be few. No digital watches or Adidas trainers I’m afraid. We did have the renegade legionnaire talking of ‘f*cking all the whores and smoking all the smoke’.  I believe our favourite four letter word did not become the swear word it is [or rather was] until at least a millennium and a half later. Not that this is new. Christian Slater’s character in Robin Hood, Prince of Turds, wrongly used it in its present context. But at least he was in the right country. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;What shall we do with this mo-fo Sire?&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/slater.jpg" border="0" alt="off with his mofo-in"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Rome’s makers will no doubt explain it away by saying that since the Legion happened to be stationed in Gaul, [which encompassed much of modern France and parts of Germany] he could have picked it up from the locals, who may have spoken some proto-Anglo-Saxon. Fair enough. But smoking? Surely a much later innovation to Europe, especially in the dope smoking sense implied here. I don't recall the Cornish Phil from Timeteam excitedly running to Tony Robinson&lt;br&gt;
exclaiming 'Oooh arr, we've jest dug up an entact Roman crackpipe!'&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Crepito-fistula&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/crack-pipe.jpg" border="0" alt="CREPITO-FISTULA"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;By far the most glaring faux pas was the gratuitous amount of finely trimmed Brazilians on display from the bed-hopping female cast. Are we to believe that the ancient Romans had a home waxing kit in every villa? Surely the special effects department could have rustled up some period pelmets? I can’t confess to be an expert on pre-Christian European female grooming. Did they do their toga-line? But then, who can? I’m not an expert in Ancient Roman anything... &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Domus incero&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/waxing.jpg" border="0" alt="want to do my toga line dear?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Admittedly, this was a drama, not a docu-drama or documentary, so we can let them off. The major problem with historical dramas out with human experience is that we are never presented with an authentic historical account. It is difficult to be completely objective with events in our own lifetime, so it is no surprise that a study of ancient Rome will have a large degree of subjectivity inbuilt. Although given the relative scarcity of vivid day to day accounts of the period we can only try and construct the era from our own experience, the rationale being that human behaviour has not changed greatly over the centuries, only the clothes and technology advances. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Fearfully great lizard&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dino.jpg" border="0" alt="i"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Why am I so bothered? Well I’m a historian, of sorts. Well in so much as I have a history degree. Unlike some other degrees, one does not become a historian at graduation or indeed recognised as one simply on the basis of the qualification. You have to write umpteen books and suddenly one day when you are in your fifties or are installed as a professor, then you become a ‘Historian’.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Ventosus&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/sharma.jpg" border="0" alt="I speak very slooowwwlly"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I recall going for a haircut with a few fellow undergraduates. The barber, who bore an amusing physical resemblance to ‘Oddbod Junior’ from ‘Carry On Screaming’ upon hearing what we studied, asked ‘History? Does that me you ‘ave t’study everything that has ever happened?’&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Tonsoris&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/oddbod.jpg" border="0" alt="ah bit off the ears"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;This idiot savant had hit the nail on the head. You could study everything, but who has the time? Most academic and professional historians specialise in certain areas. I mostly studied European and America history of the last 200 years, because that’s what interests me. I could have pursued earlier ears, but I prefer the modern era because more evidence exists and we can look at the events from all sides. Further back in the midsts of time, we may only have one account, often biased. More often than not we are treated to a historical reconstruction which is more fiction than fact, which brings me back to Rome. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Historia&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/map.jpg" border="0" alt="we"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;So if any Roman experts are reading please feel free to reply. I’m sure there is someone out there who knows all the known movements of Julius Caesar in the same way some conspiracy buffs can tell you how many times Lee Harvey Oswald farted on 22nd November 1963.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Brutus?&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ohlee.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Professional historians are no different in their endless anal quest for the minutiae of their pet topic. I am reminded of the old historian’s joke, [that means it will be clever but not exactly funny]&lt;br&gt;
A student approaches his lecturer, a renowned expert on the French Revolution.&lt;br&gt;
‘Professor Brownlow, I’m writing an essay on the storming of the Bastille and I wondered if you could help me out?’&lt;br&gt;
She looks at him blankly as if he has just requested an in-depth analysis of the theory of relativity in Swahili&lt;br&gt;
‘I have no idea what went on, you’d best ask Dr Russell, that’s his week.’&lt;br&gt;
Ba-boom Chish! I thank you.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/madame-guillontine.jpg" border="0" alt="can i have a cake first?"&gt;&lt;br&gt;
Doleo collum methinks
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/the_rise_in_flaws_of_the_roman_empire~280298/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rome.jpg" border="0" alt="I came, i saw, bought the t-shirt"></p>
	<p>I settled down to watch Rome, the latest Sword and Sandals epic to hit our screens. Given its pedigree, a BBC/HBO mongrel, I had high hopes; a big budget, respectable cast and the promise of historical accuracy. Of course, in tandem I also entertained the possibility it could be: ‘A Funny Thing Happened to Mark Anthony Soprano on the Deadwoodos Chariot on the Way to the Forum’. I wasn’t disappointed on either front. On the whole I found it watch-able hokum.</p>
	<p>Potoris [pardon my latin throughout]<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rab.jpg" border="0" alt="I drank the brutus 33"></p>
	<p>Nevertheless, I sat there waiting [eagerly, I must confess] for the usual historical continuity mistakes. Regrettably, there appeared to be few. No digital watches or Adidas trainers I’m afraid. We did have the renegade legionnaire talking of ‘f*cking all the whores and smoking all the smoke’.  I believe our favourite four letter word did not become the swear word it is [or rather was] until at least a millennium and a half later. Not that this is new. Christian Slater’s character in Robin Hood, Prince of Turds, wrongly used it in its present context. But at least he was in the right country. </p>
	<p>What shall we do with this mo-fo Sire?<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/slater.jpg" border="0" alt="off with his mofo-in"></p>
	<p>Rome’s makers will no doubt explain it away by saying that since the Legion happened to be stationed in Gaul, [which encompassed much of modern France and parts of Germany] he could have picked it up from the locals, who may have spoken some proto-Anglo-Saxon. Fair enough. But smoking? Surely a much later innovation to Europe, especially in the dope smoking sense implied here. I don't recall the Cornish Phil from Timeteam excitedly running to Tony Robinson<br>
exclaiming 'Oooh arr, we've jest dug up an entact Roman crackpipe!'</p>
	<p>Crepito-fistula<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/crack-pipe.jpg" border="0" alt="CREPITO-FISTULA"></p>
	<p>By far the most glaring faux pas was the gratuitous amount of finely trimmed Brazilians on display from the bed-hopping female cast. Are we to believe that the ancient Romans had a home waxing kit in every villa? Surely the special effects department could have rustled up some period pelmets? I can’t confess to be an expert on pre-Christian European female grooming. Did they do their toga-line? But then, who can? I’m not an expert in Ancient Roman anything... </p>
	<p>Domus incero<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/waxing.jpg" border="0" alt="want to do my toga line dear?"></p>
	<p>Admittedly, this was a drama, not a docu-drama or documentary, so we can let them off. The major problem with historical dramas out with human experience is that we are never presented with an authentic historical account. It is difficult to be completely objective with events in our own lifetime, so it is no surprise that a study of ancient Rome will have a large degree of subjectivity inbuilt. Although given the relative scarcity of vivid day to day accounts of the period we can only try and construct the era from our own experience, the rationale being that human behaviour has not changed greatly over the centuries, only the clothes and technology advances. </p>
	<p>Fearfully great lizard<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dino.jpg" border="0" alt="i"></p>
	<p>Why am I so bothered? Well I’m a historian, of sorts. Well in so much as I have a history degree. Unlike some other degrees, one does not become a historian at graduation or indeed recognised as one simply on the basis of the qualification. You have to write umpteen books and suddenly one day when you are in your fifties or are installed as a professor, then you become a ‘Historian’.</p>
	<p>Ventosus<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/sharma.jpg" border="0" alt="I speak very slooowwwlly"></p>
	<p>I recall going for a haircut with a few fellow undergraduates. The barber, who bore an amusing physical resemblance to ‘Oddbod Junior’ from ‘Carry On Screaming’ upon hearing what we studied, asked ‘History? Does that me you ‘ave t’study everything that has ever happened?’</p>
	<p>Tonsoris<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/oddbod.jpg" border="0" alt="ah bit off the ears"></p>
	<p>This idiot savant had hit the nail on the head. You could study everything, but who has the time? Most academic and professional historians specialise in certain areas. I mostly studied European and America history of the last 200 years, because that’s what interests me. I could have pursued earlier ears, but I prefer the modern era because more evidence exists and we can look at the events from all sides. Further back in the midsts of time, we may only have one account, often biased. More often than not we are treated to a historical reconstruction which is more fiction than fact, which brings me back to Rome. </p>
	<p>Historia<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/map.jpg" border="0" alt="we"></p>
	<p>So if any Roman experts are reading please feel free to reply. I’m sure there is someone out there who knows all the known movements of Julius Caesar in the same way some conspiracy buffs can tell you how many times Lee Harvey Oswald farted on 22nd November 1963.</p>
	<p>Brutus?<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/ohlee.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>Professional historians are no different in their endless anal quest for the minutiae of their pet topic. I am reminded of the old historian’s joke, [that means it will be clever but not exactly funny]<br>
A student approaches his lecturer, a renowned expert on the French Revolution.<br>
‘Professor Brownlow, I’m writing an essay on the storming of the Bastille and I wondered if you could help me out?’<br>
She looks at him blankly as if he has just requested an in-depth analysis of the theory of relativity in Swahili<br>
‘I have no idea what went on, you’d best ask Dr Russell, that’s his week.’<br>
Ba-boom Chish! I thank you.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/madame-guillontine.jpg" border="0" alt="can i have a cake first?"><br>
Doleo collum methinks
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/03/the_rise_in_flaws_of_the_roman_empire~280298/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/31/the_ramsey_word~273999/"><default:title>The Ramsay Word</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/31/the_ramsey_word~273999/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-10-31T19:49:46+01:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rammy_01.jpg" border="0" alt="f*^~#!"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I noticed during top Chef Gordon Ramsay's new vehicle, the 'F' word he wiped a turkey's bottom that had dropped one on his cooker.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/turkey_01.jpg" border="0" alt="I don\"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I seem to recall his appearance on Room 101, were he stated catagorically that he hand not changed the nappy of any of his many children. He claimed he had to keep his hands clean for work. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dirty.jpg" border="0" alt="clean nails are important"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Perhaps, in light of this latest revelation, his missus should dress the kids up as wild fowl and he will be never done keeping them clean. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nappy.jpg" border="0" alt="i prefer frais gras"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;However this may back fire as he may try and cook them all at Christams and I doubt the Turkey's would get a favourable report from teachers at Parents night. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/birdkid.jpg" border="0" alt="daisy is not doing well this year Mr Peacock"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/31/the_ramsey_word~273999/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rammy_01.jpg" border="0" alt="f*^~#!"></p>
	<p>I noticed during top Chef Gordon Ramsay's new vehicle, the 'F' word he wiped a turkey's bottom that had dropped one on his cooker.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/turkey_01.jpg" border="0" alt="I don\"></p>
	<p>I seem to recall his appearance on Room 101, were he stated catagorically that he hand not changed the nappy of any of his many children. He claimed he had to keep his hands clean for work. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dirty.jpg" border="0" alt="clean nails are important"></p>
	<p>Perhaps, in light of this latest revelation, his missus should dress the kids up as wild fowl and he will be never done keeping them clean. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nappy.jpg" border="0" alt="i prefer frais gras"></p>
	<p>However this may back fire as he may try and cook them all at Christams and I doubt the Turkey's would get a favourable report from teachers at Parents night. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/birdkid.jpg" border="0" alt="daisy is not doing well this year Mr Peacock">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/31/the_ramsey_word~273999/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/whatever_next~190369/"><default:title>Whatever Next?</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/whatever_next~190369/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-19T17:39:08+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;Whilst in the process of posting the last post I came across a strange image. Using the google image search, I typed 'space'. I wanted a photo of outer-space or something of that ilk to complete my lame sign off joke. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/sonic-boom-boy.JPG" border="0" alt="warp speed scotty"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It is from a US Department Of Defense website. The following accompanies the photo:-&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;'The Sight of Sound&lt;br&gt;
Navy Lt. Ron Candiloro's F/A-18 Hornet creates a shock wave as he breaks the sound barrier July 7. The shock wave is visible as a large cloud of condensation formed by the cooling of the air. A smaller shock wave can be seen forming on top of the canopy.&lt;br&gt;
It is possible for a skilled pilot to work the plane's throttle to move the shock wave forward or aft. '&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Thinking back a few years to the late 1990's phenonemon of pre-Millennial tension and the widespread agnst surrounding UFO's and the end of the world that gripped many, seems now quite laughable. A few scare-mongering books and documentaries exposing alian aircraft at Area 51 failed to stand the teat of time when sensible journalists presented the case that the strange lights in the sky happened to be experimental aeroplanes. Hardly a surprise considering Area %1 was primarily an airbase. The real conspiracy was not that little green men populated the facility, rather that the various nuclear tests in the area had given numerous employees cancer. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/green-men.jpg" border="0" alt="is that a macdonalds over there. I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;However returning to experimental aircraft, if they are showing us photos like the above now, Lord knows what they are testing in secret. Especially as they only admitted that the 'Blackbird' spyplane existed when they retired it.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/blackbird.jpg" border="0" alt="is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a ufo?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The truth is out there as agent Mulder often said.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/stealth.jpg" border="0" alt="shock and awe"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Here is a link to the page&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jul1999/n07161999_9907162.html"&gt;http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jul1999/n07161999_9907162.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;and a link to a high resolution photo from the same page if you can't be bother with the other link.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.defenselink.mil/specials/images/sightofsound.jpg."&gt;www.defenselink.mil/specials/images/sightofsound.jpg.&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/whatever_next~190369/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>Whilst in the process of posting the last post I came across a strange image. Using the google image search, I typed 'space'. I wanted a photo of outer-space or something of that ilk to complete my lame sign off joke. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/sonic-boom-boy.JPG" border="0" alt="warp speed scotty"></p>
	<p>It is from a US Department Of Defense website. The following accompanies the photo:-</p>
	<p>'The Sight of Sound<br>
Navy Lt. Ron Candiloro's F/A-18 Hornet creates a shock wave as he breaks the sound barrier July 7. The shock wave is visible as a large cloud of condensation formed by the cooling of the air. A smaller shock wave can be seen forming on top of the canopy.<br>
It is possible for a skilled pilot to work the plane's throttle to move the shock wave forward or aft. '</p>
	<p>Thinking back a few years to the late 1990's phenonemon of pre-Millennial tension and the widespread agnst surrounding UFO's and the end of the world that gripped many, seems now quite laughable. A few scare-mongering books and documentaries exposing alian aircraft at Area 51 failed to stand the teat of time when sensible journalists presented the case that the strange lights in the sky happened to be experimental aeroplanes. Hardly a surprise considering Area %1 was primarily an airbase. The real conspiracy was not that little green men populated the facility, rather that the various nuclear tests in the area had given numerous employees cancer. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/green-men.jpg" border="0" alt="is that a macdonalds over there. I"></p>
	<p>However returning to experimental aircraft, if they are showing us photos like the above now, Lord knows what they are testing in secret. Especially as they only admitted that the 'Blackbird' spyplane existed when they retired it.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/blackbird.jpg" border="0" alt="is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a ufo?"></p>
	<p>The truth is out there as agent Mulder often said.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/stealth.jpg" border="0" alt="shock and awe"></p>
	<p>Here is a link to the page</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jul1999/n07161999_9907162.html">http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jul1999/n07161999_9907162.html</a></p>
	<p>and a link to a high resolution photo from the same page if you can't be bother with the other link.</p>
	<p><a href="http://www.defenselink.mil/specials/images/sightofsound.jpg.">www.defenselink.mil/specials/images/sightofsound.jpg.</a> </p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/whatever_next~190369/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/what_in_spam_hill_s_going_on~190317/"><default:title>What In Spam Hill's Going On?</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/what_in_spam_hill_s_going_on~190317/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-19T17:09:00+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/spam.jpg" border="0" alt="No thanks I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Just a quick post. Being a relative new-comer to the world of Blogging, I haven't mastered the ins and outs of the trade. Last week I appeared to have lots of comments from readers. 'Great', I thought, I shall answer my public without delay. Sadly it turned out that I actually had been visited by some individual who added pointless 'trackbacks' to a motoring site with ads for Wrangler Jeeps and Mini Coopers. I mean what is the point?&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jeep.jpg" border="0" alt="that"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I was unaware that my blog was an online version of Top Gear. I don't even look like Jeremy Clarkson. Or do I? &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jezza.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I have left one of the trackbacks as an example and deleted the other dozen. Hopefully it is the last. Has anyone else encountered the problem? Will I face daily 1000 spammer raids? Watch this space...&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/space.jpg" border="0" alt="anybody out there?"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/what_in_spam_hill_s_going_on~190317/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/spam.jpg" border="0" alt="No thanks I"></p>
	<p>Just a quick post. Being a relative new-comer to the world of Blogging, I haven't mastered the ins and outs of the trade. Last week I appeared to have lots of comments from readers. 'Great', I thought, I shall answer my public without delay. Sadly it turned out that I actually had been visited by some individual who added pointless 'trackbacks' to a motoring site with ads for Wrangler Jeeps and Mini Coopers. I mean what is the point?</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jeep.jpg" border="0" alt="that"></p>
	<p>I was unaware that my blog was an online version of Top Gear. I don't even look like Jeremy Clarkson. Or do I? </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jezza.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>I have left one of the trackbacks as an example and deleted the other dozen. Hopefully it is the last. Has anyone else encountered the problem? Will I face daily 1000 spammer raids? Watch this space...</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/space.jpg" border="0" alt="anybody out there?">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/what_in_spam_hill_s_going_on~190317/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/same_old_song_but_a_different_meaning~183378/"><default:title>SAME OLD SONG, BUT A DIFFERENT MEANING</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/same_old_song_but_a_different_meaning~183378/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-15T18:46:22+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nineeleven.jpg" border="0" alt="Bates laughed as he watched the reports"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;With the passing of the fourth anniversary of 9/11, startling new evidence points the finger of suspicion in the direction of three of Britain’s one-time household names.&lt;br&gt;
Namely: Messrs Simon Bates and Bruno Brookes. Once two of the brightest stars in the Radio One galaxy, now these two bitter middle aged men have thrown their lot in with Al Qaeda. How you ask could nationwide celebrities contemplate such a move or indeed get away with it. The answer is simple: Revenge!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bates.jpg" border="0" alt="You can"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The story begins in the early Nineties, when Radio One fell victim to a ‘Night Of The Long Knives’ and Bates, Brookes and their ilk were unmercifully sacked, [or resigned before the axe fell] to make way for a new, younger fresher set of voices. The aim was to revitalise the station’s flagging ratings. The youth, besotted by Brit-pop and Grunge had no time for Bates’ moribund ‘Our Tune’ or Brookes’ dinosaur pop. So the living fossils were shown the door then thrown out of it.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bruno.jpg" border="0" alt="I am all powerful, look at the masses adoring me"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Stripped of their international platform, but still possessing massive egos that demanded constant nourishment they hawked their wares around the commercial stations. On the whole they had little success, as the formula Radio One sought to introduce, mirrored the aspirations of the majority of the other stations. The youth market was the license to print money. And the alchemy that could turn a syrupy voice into pure broadcasting gold. Thus more doors closed in their faces and they began to plot unholy vengeance.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dlt_01.jpg" border="0" alt="Beware the Jihad to come. Allah be praised"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;So enter the third man of the piece; Dave Lee Travis, the loud opinionated housewives favourite, the so called ‘Hairy Cornflake’. His swift eclipse hurt him more than most and the loss of his spot and in his words ‘ground-breaking’ radio darts quiz broke him. He very quickly disappeared from public life completely. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/number-two.jpg" border="0" alt="i"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Indeed we can reveal, Travis change of life was remarkable and happened far earlier than first suspected.  Travis had embraced Islam secretly in the 1970’s, and became increasingly drawn to its radical fringes. His mentor, Egyptian born Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri convinced him his conversion and true convictions should remain a closely guarded secret until the moment was right. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/afghan.jpg" border="0" alt="get back to where you once belonged"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Despite this, Dave Lee proved an able recruiting sergeant for the future Jihad and Bates and Brookes eagerly embraced his radical word view. This cabal set about a subversive plan to convert the British public, particularly the impressionable youth to their extreme version of Islam. Each had a distinct role. Travis, the spiritual guru, spouting his twisted philosophy in holier than thou tirades live on the radio. It was not for nothing he was known as the Ayatollah Cornflaki&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tollieye.jpg" border="0" alt="be pure, be vigilant, behave"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Brookes, the loyal foot soldier, criss-crossed the country with the yearly Radio One road-shows, glad handing the adoring masses, getting the message across and handing out literature. Although not endorsed by the station, each show would have a large stall filled with anti- western literature. Brookes would allude to in, disguising it as ‘right on’ multi-cultural-ism and suggesting the kids ‘have a look, you know you might just learn something’. Many saw this as genuine liberal thinking, but it’s more sinister purpose is now all too evident.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/cabal.jpg" border="0" alt="the gang"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Simon Bates took on the role of intelligence officer and his heart wrenching ‘Our Tune’ actually conveyed coded messages to sleeper agents in Britain and abroad. He borrowed the ruse from the World War Two BBC tactic of broadcasting secret messages to resistance groups in the many counties crushed under the Nazi Jackboot. Even after his removal from Radio One, he continued to send messages in this manner. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/winnie.jpg" border="0" alt="we shall fight them on the radio"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;They reckoned with out former British intelligence master spy John Peel. The late great champion of all things Indie rumbled their plan, but wasn’t taken seriously until he tipped of former Liberal leader Paddy Ashdown, himself a former Special Forces officer and rumoured intelligence operative. The two had met in Northern Ireland in the early 1970’s. Peel, in Ireland on a talent search, [he discovering The Undertones on a later more bountiful 'trip'] and Ashdown on active service. A friendship grew from there on. Paddy’s political clout led to the sacking of the militant cell within the nation’s then favourite radio a station. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/pantsdown.jpg" border="0" alt="the man who would be king"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The radicals never forgave Peel and even now after his death, and have muddied his reputation with a wildly inaccurate, scurrilous biography which notoriously misinforms the reader about Peel’s desperate attempts to prevent the Kennedy Assassination. [See review below ’TEENAGE HITS’] Indeed it is thought that The Smiths’ classic Panic with its ‘Hang the DJ’ chorus was a favour from Morrissey and Johnny Marr to Peel in attempt to bring the conspirators into the open. Sadly its message was missed and remains it a highly misunderstood song.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/panic.jpg" border="0" alt="Because the music they constantly play..."&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;GCHQ Code-breakers believe his ‘Our Tune’ broadcast of Sept 10th 2001, which told the now standard highly unbelievable tale of misery, disease and unrequited love was the trigger for the horrific attacks on the US mainland. In retrospect it is easy to see the green light been given. It details amongst other things a letter extract from the dying wife in hospital opening with ‘Hi Jack’  and continuing with;…’watched the Movie ‘Crash…into the Two Towers…by Tolkien…and the Pentagon Papers …by Daniel Ellsberg …but I’ll finish the two of them off if it is the last thing I do, God  willing.’ Bates then played ‘I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane’  Simultaneously Brookes talked at length about the Roger Moore film ‘North Sea Hijack’ and played ‘Crash’ by The Primitives, ‘New York, New York’ by Frank Sinatra and rather uncharacteristically played Frank Zappa’s ‘Pentagon Afternoon’ twice, claiming it to be a true classic, despite its obvious radio unfriendly nature.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/take-off.jpg" border="0" alt="what"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Dave Lee Travis, well aware that that knock at the door wasn’t far off and the SAS would come rushing in. The Hairy Cornflake had no choice but to go underground. CIA sources now suggest he resurfaced in Afghanistan. Despite the injuries received in battle which altered his features, photographic experts have recently confirmed that Mullah Omar, the leader of the Taliban and Travis are one in the same.  This ground-breaking discovery sheds light on the wanted war criminals whereabouts. Neither has ever been pictured together and it is highly likely Travis, face re-altered by plastic surgery is at liberty somewhere in Britain. What isn’t doubted is that he is almost certainly broadcasting his evil doctrine from a safe house at this very moment. The same can be said of his twisted cohorts. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/omar.jpg" border="0" alt="i"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;With their cast iron links with Bin Laden and the other fugitive hiding in the hills of Afghanistan, it would be no stretch of the imagination to speculate that this twisted triumvirate were the brains behind the recent spate of bombings in London. But without the evidence, [and they are clever enough to cover the tracks completely], only time will tell.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bin.jpg" border="0" alt="Every move you make, every breath you take, i"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Except taken from Rock ‘N’ Roll Suicide: Radio One and the Truth Behind The 9/11 Tragedy by Peter Powell &amp; David ‘Kid’ Jensen, £19.99, Franklin Mint International Press
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/same_old_song_but_a_different_meaning~183378/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nineeleven.jpg" border="0" alt="Bates laughed as he watched the reports"></p>
	<p>With the passing of the fourth anniversary of 9/11, startling new evidence points the finger of suspicion in the direction of three of Britain’s one-time household names.<br>
Namely: Messrs Simon Bates and Bruno Brookes. Once two of the brightest stars in the Radio One galaxy, now these two bitter middle aged men have thrown their lot in with Al Qaeda. How you ask could nationwide celebrities contemplate such a move or indeed get away with it. The answer is simple: Revenge!</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bates.jpg" border="0" alt="You can"></p>
	<p>The story begins in the early Nineties, when Radio One fell victim to a ‘Night Of The Long Knives’ and Bates, Brookes and their ilk were unmercifully sacked, [or resigned before the axe fell] to make way for a new, younger fresher set of voices. The aim was to revitalise the station’s flagging ratings. The youth, besotted by Brit-pop and Grunge had no time for Bates’ moribund ‘Our Tune’ or Brookes’ dinosaur pop. So the living fossils were shown the door then thrown out of it.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bruno.jpg" border="0" alt="I am all powerful, look at the masses adoring me"></p>
	<p>Stripped of their international platform, but still possessing massive egos that demanded constant nourishment they hawked their wares around the commercial stations. On the whole they had little success, as the formula Radio One sought to introduce, mirrored the aspirations of the majority of the other stations. The youth market was the license to print money. And the alchemy that could turn a syrupy voice into pure broadcasting gold. Thus more doors closed in their faces and they began to plot unholy vengeance.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dlt_01.jpg" border="0" alt="Beware the Jihad to come. Allah be praised"></p>
	<p>So enter the third man of the piece; Dave Lee Travis, the loud opinionated housewives favourite, the so called ‘Hairy Cornflake’. His swift eclipse hurt him more than most and the loss of his spot and in his words ‘ground-breaking’ radio darts quiz broke him. He very quickly disappeared from public life completely. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/number-two.jpg" border="0" alt="i"></p>
	<p>Indeed we can reveal, Travis change of life was remarkable and happened far earlier than first suspected.  Travis had embraced Islam secretly in the 1970’s, and became increasingly drawn to its radical fringes. His mentor, Egyptian born Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri convinced him his conversion and true convictions should remain a closely guarded secret until the moment was right. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/afghan.jpg" border="0" alt="get back to where you once belonged"></p>
	<p>Despite this, Dave Lee proved an able recruiting sergeant for the future Jihad and Bates and Brookes eagerly embraced his radical word view. This cabal set about a subversive plan to convert the British public, particularly the impressionable youth to their extreme version of Islam. Each had a distinct role. Travis, the spiritual guru, spouting his twisted philosophy in holier than thou tirades live on the radio. It was not for nothing he was known as the Ayatollah Cornflaki</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tollieye.jpg" border="0" alt="be pure, be vigilant, behave"></p>
	<p>Brookes, the loyal foot soldier, criss-crossed the country with the yearly Radio One road-shows, glad handing the adoring masses, getting the message across and handing out literature. Although not endorsed by the station, each show would have a large stall filled with anti- western literature. Brookes would allude to in, disguising it as ‘right on’ multi-cultural-ism and suggesting the kids ‘have a look, you know you might just learn something’. Many saw this as genuine liberal thinking, but it’s more sinister purpose is now all too evident.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/cabal.jpg" border="0" alt="the gang"></p>
	<p>Simon Bates took on the role of intelligence officer and his heart wrenching ‘Our Tune’ actually conveyed coded messages to sleeper agents in Britain and abroad. He borrowed the ruse from the World War Two BBC tactic of broadcasting secret messages to resistance groups in the many counties crushed under the Nazi Jackboot. Even after his removal from Radio One, he continued to send messages in this manner. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/winnie.jpg" border="0" alt="we shall fight them on the radio"></p>
	<p>They reckoned with out former British intelligence master spy John Peel. The late great champion of all things Indie rumbled their plan, but wasn’t taken seriously until he tipped of former Liberal leader Paddy Ashdown, himself a former Special Forces officer and rumoured intelligence operative. The two had met in Northern Ireland in the early 1970’s. Peel, in Ireland on a talent search, [he discovering The Undertones on a later more bountiful 'trip'] and Ashdown on active service. A friendship grew from there on. Paddy’s political clout led to the sacking of the militant cell within the nation’s then favourite radio a station. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/pantsdown.jpg" border="0" alt="the man who would be king"></p>
	<p>The radicals never forgave Peel and even now after his death, and have muddied his reputation with a wildly inaccurate, scurrilous biography which notoriously misinforms the reader about Peel’s desperate attempts to prevent the Kennedy Assassination. [See review below ’TEENAGE HITS’] Indeed it is thought that The Smiths’ classic Panic with its ‘Hang the DJ’ chorus was a favour from Morrissey and Johnny Marr to Peel in attempt to bring the conspirators into the open. Sadly its message was missed and remains it a highly misunderstood song.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/panic.jpg" border="0" alt="Because the music they constantly play..."></p>
	<p>GCHQ Code-breakers believe his ‘Our Tune’ broadcast of Sept 10th 2001, which told the now standard highly unbelievable tale of misery, disease and unrequited love was the trigger for the horrific attacks on the US mainland. In retrospect it is easy to see the green light been given. It details amongst other things a letter extract from the dying wife in hospital opening with ‘Hi Jack’  and continuing with;…’watched the Movie ‘Crash…into the Two Towers…by Tolkien…and the Pentagon Papers …by Daniel Ellsberg …but I’ll finish the two of them off if it is the last thing I do, God  willing.’ Bates then played ‘I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane’  Simultaneously Brookes talked at length about the Roger Moore film ‘North Sea Hijack’ and played ‘Crash’ by The Primitives, ‘New York, New York’ by Frank Sinatra and rather uncharacteristically played Frank Zappa’s ‘Pentagon Afternoon’ twice, claiming it to be a true classic, despite its obvious radio unfriendly nature.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/take-off.jpg" border="0" alt="what"></p>
	<p>Dave Lee Travis, well aware that that knock at the door wasn’t far off and the SAS would come rushing in. The Hairy Cornflake had no choice but to go underground. CIA sources now suggest he resurfaced in Afghanistan. Despite the injuries received in battle which altered his features, photographic experts have recently confirmed that Mullah Omar, the leader of the Taliban and Travis are one in the same.  This ground-breaking discovery sheds light on the wanted war criminals whereabouts. Neither has ever been pictured together and it is highly likely Travis, face re-altered by plastic surgery is at liberty somewhere in Britain. What isn’t doubted is that he is almost certainly broadcasting his evil doctrine from a safe house at this very moment. The same can be said of his twisted cohorts. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/omar.jpg" border="0" alt="i"></p>
	<p>With their cast iron links with Bin Laden and the other fugitive hiding in the hills of Afghanistan, it would be no stretch of the imagination to speculate that this twisted triumvirate were the brains behind the recent spate of bombings in London. But without the evidence, [and they are clever enough to cover the tracks completely], only time will tell.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bin.jpg" border="0" alt="Every move you make, every breath you take, i"></p>
	<p>Except taken from Rock ‘N’ Roll Suicide: Radio One and the Truth Behind The 9/11 Tragedy by Peter Powell & David ‘Kid’ Jensen, £19.99, Franklin Mint International Press
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/same_old_song_but_a_different_meaning~183378/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/never_mind_the_bollocks_here_s_the_swear~178003/"><default:title>NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS, HERE’S THE SWEAR WORDS</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/never_mind_the_bollocks_here_s_the_swear~178003/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-13T05:06:06+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;The other evening, whilst trawling through the channels, I found a documentary called 40 Years of F***, charting the ever increasingly successful career of swearing on British television. Sensibly it was on at 10pm on BBC3, post-watershed. As you may have guessed I am privileged enough to have a digi-box and can access more than the standard five channels. [For those of you out there still viewing so-called ‘council telly’, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be on one of the main BBC channels shortly] I could go on at great length about how truly awful most of the extra channels are but I reckon everyone knows that already.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The documentary was not that bad considering the dwindling standards of the genre these days, relying heavily on archive footage and eye witness testimony or recollections of the main players. It only resorted to ‘Crimewatch’ style reconstructions when the actual footage was unavailable. Sadly this was the case for the TV’s virginity. Like a lot of classic footage, no-one thought to tape television’s first live f**k.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/madken.jpg" border="0" alt="*&amp;&amp;*%)(&amp;^%$£$£$£$)!!!"""!! The lot of you" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;For those who don’t know, this came about in 1965 from the lips of controversial theatre critic Kenneth Tynan and was all part of a personal campaign to loosen the prudish establishment’s grip on obscenity laws and what was permissible on stage. He was well aware of the impact his utterance would make and had let it be known to friends he was going to say it beforehand. Rather more spontaneous was the first live C-word, still fairly taboo even today. A bunch of middle class hippy types invaded David Frost’s show whilst he interviewed an American student radical and during the ensuing melee one of the motley crew [before soaking the hot under the collar Frost with a water pistol] let slip that the radical was ‘the most insufferable cant’ he knew. In retrospect, I’d imagine the water pistol antics were an attempt to take the heat of him rather than dampen Frost's ardour.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/frosty.jpg" border="0" alt="Oh a bad word, very clever"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The retrospective dawdled on through the ‘70’s terminating with the hilarious Sex Pistols v Bill Grundy tea-time swear-athon. Although looking back, the airwaves didn’t turn quite as blue as we remember. Spurred on by Johnny Rotten’s accidental sh*t, Grundy, drunk as the proverbial high court judge, thought he would take the outrageous pop pirates down a peg or two. He reckoned without Steve Jones, the mad as a brush guitarist. Whilst the assembled looked on a bit embarrassed, Bill waded in, however Jones let fly with a foul mouth torrent of sheer comedy genius culminating in ‘you fackin’ rotter!’  As director Alex Cox remarked on the programme, this was a wonderfully archaic word. I have always thought so myself.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/filthy.jpg" border="0" alt="What are you doing later you little punk vixen?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Mr Cox leads me on to my main point. The documentary has a second part, but I doubt I’ll watch it. In today’s terms, the legendary ‘Filth and the Fury’ Grundy massacre [Reg ended up fast tracked to the dole queue afterwards], is something you might expect on Hollyoaks or the like. The verbal pit bull that is Alan Ramsey puts most Hollywood Mafia movies to shame. Someone swears now and it doesn’t generally get a mention in the papers, a far cry from when The Sun, [that bastion of the moral high ground] could only describe Tynan’s outburst as ‘that word’. Luckily they caught on fast and gave us the now legendary ‘Bastards’ banner headline many years later. Strangely, the B-word lost its power fairly quickly, perhaps because of its two syllables as opposed to its shorter rivals. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/scarface.jpg" border="0" alt="You didn"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Nevertheless even in the 1980’s wholesale cursing was still frowned upon and Sweary Mary films often had to be re-dubbed for T.V audiences with ridiculous results. This in turn led to a high volume of viewer complaints demanding the uncut foul mouthed versions, which in the end triumphed. Luckily for the connoisseurs of these preposterous telly versions, Channel Five still have loads, [Scarface and Midnight Run are classics of the genre, although I’d have loved to have seen a sanitised Goodfellas.] All are filled with ‘freak offs’ and ‘melon-farmers’. We are indebt to the aforementioned Alex Cox for this particular timeless clean curse. Realising his swear-athon movie Repo-man would need a respray, he set about finding the silliest alternatives he could and low m*ther-f*cker became melon farmer. Priceless. For instance we could have the following dialogue;-&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/goodfellas.jpg" border="0" alt="You are a great bloke! Yeah so are you! High Five Dude!"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;GANGSTER #1 &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;F*ck you, you f*ckin’m*ther-f*ckin’ c*nt, son of a bitch b*stard!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;GANGSTER#2&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;No f*ck you, you f*ckin’ no good c*ck-sucking assh*le p*ssyhole!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;This would become:&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Freak you, you flippin’ melon-farmin’ clunk, son of a bandit bystander!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;No flack you, you fraggin’ no good cake slicing artichoke pineapple!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Then reported by a very conservative newspaper as:&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;That F-word you, you That F-word-ing mother That F-word-ing , That Very Bad Word, son of a That Not So Bad B-Word, Bad B-word&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;No That F-word, you That F-word-ing, no good No So Bad C-word sucking Bad A-word hole, cat hole.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Another thing about swearing is, as someone once said, [possibly me, but I doubt it very much] the only people who can swear properly are: The Scots, The Irish and New Yorkers. Althoughthe prize for the cleverest use of pretend swearing has to go to Father Ted. Replace 'u' with 'e' and you have a comedy that even Mary Whitehouse would feckin' love.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/feck--arse--gurls.jpg" border="0" alt="feck, arse, gurls and cliff"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/never_mind_the_bollocks_here_s_the_swear~178003/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>The other evening, whilst trawling through the channels, I found a documentary called 40 Years of F***, charting the ever increasingly successful career of swearing on British television. Sensibly it was on at 10pm on BBC3, post-watershed. As you may have guessed I am privileged enough to have a digi-box and can access more than the standard five channels. [For those of you out there still viewing so-called ‘council telly’, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be on one of the main BBC channels shortly] I could go on at great length about how truly awful most of the extra channels are but I reckon everyone knows that already.</p>
	<p>The documentary was not that bad considering the dwindling standards of the genre these days, relying heavily on archive footage and eye witness testimony or recollections of the main players. It only resorted to ‘Crimewatch’ style reconstructions when the actual footage was unavailable. Sadly this was the case for the TV’s virginity. Like a lot of classic footage, no-one thought to tape television’s first live f**k.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/madken.jpg" border="0" alt="*&&*%)(&^%$£$£$£$)!!!"""!! The lot of you" /></p>
	<p>For those who don’t know, this came about in 1965 from the lips of controversial theatre critic Kenneth Tynan and was all part of a personal campaign to loosen the prudish establishment’s grip on obscenity laws and what was permissible on stage. He was well aware of the impact his utterance would make and had let it be known to friends he was going to say it beforehand. Rather more spontaneous was the first live C-word, still fairly taboo even today. A bunch of middle class hippy types invaded David Frost’s show whilst he interviewed an American student radical and during the ensuing melee one of the motley crew [before soaking the hot under the collar Frost with a water pistol] let slip that the radical was ‘the most insufferable cant’ he knew. In retrospect, I’d imagine the water pistol antics were an attempt to take the heat of him rather than dampen Frost's ardour.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/frosty.jpg" border="0" alt="Oh a bad word, very clever"></p>
	<p>The retrospective dawdled on through the ‘70’s terminating with the hilarious Sex Pistols v Bill Grundy tea-time swear-athon. Although looking back, the airwaves didn’t turn quite as blue as we remember. Spurred on by Johnny Rotten’s accidental sh*t, Grundy, drunk as the proverbial high court judge, thought he would take the outrageous pop pirates down a peg or two. He reckoned without Steve Jones, the mad as a brush guitarist. Whilst the assembled looked on a bit embarrassed, Bill waded in, however Jones let fly with a foul mouth torrent of sheer comedy genius culminating in ‘you fackin’ rotter!’  As director Alex Cox remarked on the programme, this was a wonderfully archaic word. I have always thought so myself.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/filthy.jpg" border="0" alt="What are you doing later you little punk vixen?"></p>
	<p>Mr Cox leads me on to my main point. The documentary has a second part, but I doubt I’ll watch it. In today’s terms, the legendary ‘Filth and the Fury’ Grundy massacre [Reg ended up fast tracked to the dole queue afterwards], is something you might expect on Hollyoaks or the like. The verbal pit bull that is Alan Ramsey puts most Hollywood Mafia movies to shame. Someone swears now and it doesn’t generally get a mention in the papers, a far cry from when The Sun, [that bastion of the moral high ground] could only describe Tynan’s outburst as ‘that word’. Luckily they caught on fast and gave us the now legendary ‘Bastards’ banner headline many years later. Strangely, the B-word lost its power fairly quickly, perhaps because of its two syllables as opposed to its shorter rivals. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/scarface.jpg" border="0" alt="You didn"></p>
	<p>Nevertheless even in the 1980’s wholesale cursing was still frowned upon and Sweary Mary films often had to be re-dubbed for T.V audiences with ridiculous results. This in turn led to a high volume of viewer complaints demanding the uncut foul mouthed versions, which in the end triumphed. Luckily for the connoisseurs of these preposterous telly versions, Channel Five still have loads, [Scarface and Midnight Run are classics of the genre, although I’d have loved to have seen a sanitised Goodfellas.] All are filled with ‘freak offs’ and ‘melon-farmers’. We are indebt to the aforementioned Alex Cox for this particular timeless clean curse. Realising his swear-athon movie Repo-man would need a respray, he set about finding the silliest alternatives he could and low m*ther-f*cker became melon farmer. Priceless. For instance we could have the following dialogue;-</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/goodfellas.jpg" border="0" alt="You are a great bloke! Yeah so are you! High Five Dude!"></p>
	<p>GANGSTER #1 </p>
	<p>F*ck you, you f*ckin’m*ther-f*ckin’ c*nt, son of a bitch b*stard!</p>
	<p>GANGSTER#2</p>
	<p>No f*ck you, you f*ckin’ no good c*ck-sucking assh*le p*ssyhole!</p>
	<p>This would become:</p>
	<p>Freak you, you flippin’ melon-farmin’ clunk, son of a bandit bystander!</p>
	<p>No flack you, you fraggin’ no good cake slicing artichoke pineapple!</p>
	<p>Then reported by a very conservative newspaper as:</p>
	<p>That F-word you, you That F-word-ing mother That F-word-ing , That Very Bad Word, son of a That Not So Bad B-Word, Bad B-word</p>
	<p>No That F-word, you That F-word-ing, no good No So Bad C-word sucking Bad A-word hole, cat hole.</p>
	<p>Another thing about swearing is, as someone once said, [possibly me, but I doubt it very much] the only people who can swear properly are: The Scots, The Irish and New Yorkers. Althoughthe prize for the cleverest use of pretend swearing has to go to Father Ted. Replace 'u' with 'e' and you have a comedy that even Mary Whitehouse would feckin' love.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/feck--arse--gurls.jpg" border="0" alt="feck, arse, gurls and cliff">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/never_mind_the_bollocks_here_s_the_swear~178003/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/teenage_hits~175982/"><default:title>TEENAGE HITS</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/teenage_hits~175982/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-12T06:20:04+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;THE SECRET LIFE OF JOHN PEEL&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jpeel.jpg" title="i wanna hold it, i wanna hold it tight"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jpeel_small.jpg" border="0" alt="i wanna hold it, i wanna hold it tight"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The passing of John Peel last year saw many mourn the loss of, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest DJ of all time. Whilst a few also rans like Jo Whiley may try and stake claims on his vacant crown, they will never fill his shoes, no matter how high their cowboy boots are. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/peely.jpg" border="0" alt="down with the sun city boys"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;As the nation paused to reflect upon the end of a remarkable career in which Peel, [often singled handed] championed the offbeat, the leftfield and the underground artists that populated the popular music canvas, kick starting the careers of so many household names, musical legends and rock icons that I am not even going to attempt to list them.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Nonetheless most people are unaware of Peel’s less well documented career as an intelligence agent or his murky role in one of the defining events of the 20th Century.&lt;br&gt;
Only now, after his death and with un-precedented access to files gained through the freedom of information act both in Britain and the USA coupled with never before heard eye-witness testimony, we can reveal Peel’s pivotal role in the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dallas.jpg" border="0" alt="don"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Peel made no secret of his early DJ-ing job in Dallas Texas, nor for that matter did he hide the fact he was in the Dallas Police station during Lee Harvey Oswald’s interrogation and subsequent slaying at the hands of Jack Ruby. Like every good cover story, an element of truth lends to believability. Who would disbelieve the down to earth Peel’s admission that he was so intrigued by history unfolding on his doorstep, that he blagged his way in pretending to be a reporter from the Liverpool Echo? Why not, the world media had descended on Dallas. What difference was one reporter from a Northern English provincial newspaper going to make? Quite a lot, as we shall see.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/shot.jpg" border="0" alt="duck lee, duck"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Born John Robert Parker Ravenscroft, in 1939 to middle class parents near Merseyside. He attended a minor public school, attracting the attentions of his housemaster who labelled him ‘eccentric’, mostly due to his fledgling love for Rock ‘n’ Roll. However it was during National Service [1957-59] that his secret life began. Cold War paranoia about reds under ever bed had not quite died away and Private Ravenscroft was quickly attached to an intelligence company. Initially army friends recall he volunteered because it seemed like ‘a bit of a lark and a chance to doss around listening to foreign radio stations.’ Very quickly his superiors latched on to his talent as a disc jockey and encouraged him to develop the laid back laconic style that was to latterly become his trademark&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rockdj.jpg" border="0" alt="it"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;With his public school ties and friends in the old boy network, Lieutenant Ravenscroft walked out of the army and into MI6. The western powers still didn’t know what to make of the hip swinging side-burned phenomenon that was Elvis Presley and his ilk, but they were scared enough to want one of their men on the inside. The fact that the youth of all races seemed to be united in loving its anti-establishment ethos sent shivers along the corridors of power both in Whitehall and the White House.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/grease.jpg" border="0" alt="this could be a real pussy wagon"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;In a joint operation with the CIA, Peel, still using his birth name, was dispatched to Dallas, Texas and the WWR station to monitor pop activities for communist influence and subversion, whilst subtly broadcasting pro-Western ideals in his own inevitable way. He began to become disillusioned with his role following his discovery of the CIA’s assassination of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper during a drunken evening with his CIA liaison officer E. Howard Hunt [later a principal figure in the Watergate scandal with destroyed the Nixon administration.]&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/hunt.jpg" border="0" alt="i wasn"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Despite this he persevered. He had become a minor celebrity and often dropped into Jack Ruby’s Carousel Club for a Guinness or two after his show. It was here he was first mistaken for Lee Harvey Oswald. This was no unlucky accident. Peel knew Oswald, himself an officer in the US Office of Naval Intelligence, who had already defected to and returned from the USSR and currently busy infiltrating pro and anti-Castro groups in the American South. One former US spook, who wishes to remain nameless, told us in was not uncommon for spies to swap aliases, especially if one was elsewhere on a deep cover operation. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jack--s-bitches.jpg" border="0" alt="jack loved to surround himself with lovely ladies"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Quite how Peel’s unmistakable English accent could pass for Oswald’s southern drawl remains an enigma. What cannot be denied were the striking similarities between the two. Many former Ruby showgirls cannot tell the two apart to this day. Our source also suggested it was Peel and not Oswald who posed in the infamous back yard rifle photos, so crucial in convincing the world of Lee’s guilt. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/lifemag.jpg" border="0" alt="here"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The ruse was twofold; Peel could convincing deflect unwanted radio fans and groupies by producing his Oswald I.D and Oswald could go about his secret business untroubled. This explains the numerous sightings of alternative Oswald’s who popped up around the South during the months running up to the events of November 22nd 1963. What remains a mystery are how many times Peel masqueraded as Oswald. Did Peel pay the suspicious trip to Mexico City Soviet Embassy? Our source refused to be drawn on it. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/lho.jpg" border="0" alt="its the real me"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Peel began to smell a rat after he was asked to go to a shooting range and shoot at other peoples targets, telling them he thought he was shooting at ‘that son of a bitch Kennedy!’ Initially viewing it as a bit of fun poking at the expense of the ignorant Texan rednecks, he saw the noose tightening around the neck of his friend from New Orleans when Hunt hinted to him he might need a new alias as Oswald would not be around for much longer. The penny dropped with the astute Peel when fellow agent Richard Case Nagell, afraid he would take the rap, fired three shots in to the ceiling of a southern bank with a high powered rifle, then calmly waited to be arrested. He used his one phone call to tip off the whole story to Peel.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bookd.jpg" border="0" alt="on a clear day you can see the sniper"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;After his telex to every FBI office in the land warning of the plot was ‘ignored’, Peel had to think fast. Unable to contact Oswald before or on the morning of the Presidential visit, John hatched a make or break plan. He would try and spoil the apparent coup d’tat by taking a shot at the President himself from an exposed position. Finding himself a spot behind a picket fence at the far end of Dealey Plaza at the top of a grassy knoll he waited. Sadly for Peel and the world, he didn’t have the full details of the plot and his shot, [which missed] was lost in the hail of gunfire from the book Texas Schoolbook Depository. Confiding in the late Kenny Everett, a one-time Radio 1 colleague, he hoped his shot would pre-empt the actual assassination attempt and the motorcade would speed away and he could betray the actual assassins upon his arrest or later when he was in custody.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/grassy-knoll.jpg" border="0" alt="i was that grassy knoll"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Frightened by the hostile mob heading up the knoll toward him, not to mention the armed police out-riders the DJ made a sharp exit. In his haste he dropped a rare Link Wray acetate, over looked by the Warren Commission and now unplayable due to shabby storage over the years, but the distinctive biro star system Peel used to rate records he received can still be clearly seen on the sleeve.  With the world caving in around his friend Peel made for the Dallas Police station to attempt to ensure the true came out. Masquerading as we know as a British reporter, he failed to get his story across. Keen eyed observes can spot an exasperated Peel in the later press conference watching impotently as the Police parade a the now famous Mannlicher Carcano rifle, he himself had bought for Oswald some months earlier.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/manncar.jpg" border="0" alt="i"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Frustrated, Peel dropped in on Ruby’s on the way home. hoping to meet with some contacts in a vain attempt to right the monumental wrong. Instead he found a drunken and upset Ruby. Try as he may, he could not dissuade Ruby from his conviction of Oswald’s guilt. Others had been before him and poisoned the volatile Jack’s mind with all manner of tales incriminating Lee Harvey. Suspecting Ruby would be so drunk he'd forget the whole thing by morning, John went home to try and think of another way out for everyone. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jack-dubbed-up.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;But events travelled fast and the following day, whilst taking his usual place in the press scrum he saw Jack Ruby lunge through the crowd and fire his deadly volley. Sandwiched between several meaty mid-western hacks, Peel couldn’t get close enough to prevent the bloodshed.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/hippy.jpg" border="0" alt="turn on, tune in, have a nice cup of tea"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Soon after Peel moved to LA and a new assignment investigating the growing counter-culture. He began to become increasingly paranoid of his intelligence colleagues. Though no-one was aware of the true identity of the grass knoll gunman, they had their suspicions. Equally the public began to ask questions of the official version of events, particularly the growing legions of sceptical conspiracy theorists. By the late ‘60’s, Peel had grown so disillusioned by his intelligence work he moved back to Britain. MI6 put him to work on the growing number of Pirate Radio stations at anchor in the international waters around Britain. It was here he met Terry Wogan, a former Irish terrorist, who had renounced violence in favour of light hearted banter.&lt;br&gt;
Realising that a leopard could indeed change his spots, he resigned from the spying business and devoted himself to his first love: - rock ‘n’ roll. With the advent of Radio 1, and his new name John Peel, adopted upon his break with the intelligence services, the legend we all know was born. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PA67peel3.jpg" title="and i thought MI6 was dodgy"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PA67peel3_small.jpg" border="0" alt="and i thought MI6 was dodgy"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;His late night spot was deliberate. Wary of not only the CIA, but the ever growing conspiracy theory cottage industry, his late night spot kept him largely out of the limelight. He refused the breakfast show and many other higher profile slots, for the same reasons. He didn’t want his face to be known, especially with the ever growing volumes of photographic analysis of the ‘grassy knoll’ gunman. He feared one day techniques would become so advanced that his face could be plucked from the image. So far this has not been the case. Also Peel alone knew his shot had missed and it seems he was delighted when the computer simulation by boffin Dale Myers in 2003 seemed to put paid to the grassy knoll head shot theory for at least a few years. Nevertheless he remained haunted by those earth shattering events. He never knew for sure if Oswald had been the gunman or if anyone had fired that day. His credentials within the intelligence community sank from Nov 22nd onward, and he was out of the loop for anything other than his own operations.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/badgeman.jpg" title="if you look closely you can also see the 1962 spurs team"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/badgeman_small.jpg" border="0" alt="if you look closely you can also see the 1962 spurs team"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It irked him at first that the ‘awful’ bands he championed in order to keep his low profile below ground, almost always became the most critically acclaimed bands of their generation. However by the 1980’s he had changed so much from those early days in Dallas, that his fear ebbed away and he reluctantly began to embrace his fame.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/spyboy.jpg" border="0" alt="my name issh jawhnon peeeall, the elphant dj"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Continually battling his demons, his award winning Home Truths radio show, was originally meant as an opportunity for Peel to come clean about his previous double life and his guilt over failing to save President Kennedy, the hapless Oswald or the luckless Jack Ruby. However at the last minute, programmers backed out and the show was aired in it’s now famous format. Rumours persist that the first confessional show is locked away in the BBC vaults.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;More astute conspiracy theorists have suggested that Peel’s sudden death bear the hallmarks of CIA skulduggery, but these remain as such – theories. Whatever the truth, John Peel was his own man to the end.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/upyours.jpg" border="0" alt="I am the dj, i am what i play"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;*Extract taken from John Peel – The Hitman and Hero – From The Bay Of Pigs To Dogs Die In Hot Cars by Simon Bates &amp; Bruno Brookes, £19.99, Franklin Mint International Press
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/teenage_hits~175982/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>THE SECRET LIFE OF JOHN PEEL</p>
	<p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jpeel.jpg" title="i wanna hold it, i wanna hold it tight"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jpeel_small.jpg" border="0" alt="i wanna hold it, i wanna hold it tight"></a></p>
	<p>The passing of John Peel last year saw many mourn the loss of, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest DJ of all time. Whilst a few also rans like Jo Whiley may try and stake claims on his vacant crown, they will never fill his shoes, no matter how high their cowboy boots are. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/peely.jpg" border="0" alt="down with the sun city boys"></p>
	<p>As the nation paused to reflect upon the end of a remarkable career in which Peel, [often singled handed] championed the offbeat, the leftfield and the underground artists that populated the popular music canvas, kick starting the careers of so many household names, musical legends and rock icons that I am not even going to attempt to list them.</p>
	<p>Nonetheless most people are unaware of Peel’s less well documented career as an intelligence agent or his murky role in one of the defining events of the 20th Century.<br>
Only now, after his death and with un-precedented access to files gained through the freedom of information act both in Britain and the USA coupled with never before heard eye-witness testimony, we can reveal Peel’s pivotal role in the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/dallas.jpg" border="0" alt="don"></p>
	<p>Peel made no secret of his early DJ-ing job in Dallas Texas, nor for that matter did he hide the fact he was in the Dallas Police station during Lee Harvey Oswald’s interrogation and subsequent slaying at the hands of Jack Ruby. Like every good cover story, an element of truth lends to believability. Who would disbelieve the down to earth Peel’s admission that he was so intrigued by history unfolding on his doorstep, that he blagged his way in pretending to be a reporter from the Liverpool Echo? Why not, the world media had descended on Dallas. What difference was one reporter from a Northern English provincial newspaper going to make? Quite a lot, as we shall see.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/shot.jpg" border="0" alt="duck lee, duck"></p>
	<p>Born John Robert Parker Ravenscroft, in 1939 to middle class parents near Merseyside. He attended a minor public school, attracting the attentions of his housemaster who labelled him ‘eccentric’, mostly due to his fledgling love for Rock ‘n’ Roll. However it was during National Service [1957-59] that his secret life began. Cold War paranoia about reds under ever bed had not quite died away and Private Ravenscroft was quickly attached to an intelligence company. Initially army friends recall he volunteered because it seemed like ‘a bit of a lark and a chance to doss around listening to foreign radio stations.’ Very quickly his superiors latched on to his talent as a disc jockey and encouraged him to develop the laid back laconic style that was to latterly become his trademark</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/rockdj.jpg" border="0" alt="it"></p>
	<p>With his public school ties and friends in the old boy network, Lieutenant Ravenscroft walked out of the army and into MI6. The western powers still didn’t know what to make of the hip swinging side-burned phenomenon that was Elvis Presley and his ilk, but they were scared enough to want one of their men on the inside. The fact that the youth of all races seemed to be united in loving its anti-establishment ethos sent shivers along the corridors of power both in Whitehall and the White House.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/grease.jpg" border="0" alt="this could be a real pussy wagon"></p>
	<p>In a joint operation with the CIA, Peel, still using his birth name, was dispatched to Dallas, Texas and the WWR station to monitor pop activities for communist influence and subversion, whilst subtly broadcasting pro-Western ideals in his own inevitable way. He began to become disillusioned with his role following his discovery of the CIA’s assassination of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper during a drunken evening with his CIA liaison officer E. Howard Hunt [later a principal figure in the Watergate scandal with destroyed the Nixon administration.]</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/hunt.jpg" border="0" alt="i wasn"></p>
	<p>Despite this he persevered. He had become a minor celebrity and often dropped into Jack Ruby’s Carousel Club for a Guinness or two after his show. It was here he was first mistaken for Lee Harvey Oswald. This was no unlucky accident. Peel knew Oswald, himself an officer in the US Office of Naval Intelligence, who had already defected to and returned from the USSR and currently busy infiltrating pro and anti-Castro groups in the American South. One former US spook, who wishes to remain nameless, told us in was not uncommon for spies to swap aliases, especially if one was elsewhere on a deep cover operation. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jack--s-bitches.jpg" border="0" alt="jack loved to surround himself with lovely ladies"></p>
	<p>Quite how Peel’s unmistakable English accent could pass for Oswald’s southern drawl remains an enigma. What cannot be denied were the striking similarities between the two. Many former Ruby showgirls cannot tell the two apart to this day. Our source also suggested it was Peel and not Oswald who posed in the infamous back yard rifle photos, so crucial in convincing the world of Lee’s guilt. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/lifemag.jpg" border="0" alt="here"></p>
	<p>The ruse was twofold; Peel could convincing deflect unwanted radio fans and groupies by producing his Oswald I.D and Oswald could go about his secret business untroubled. This explains the numerous sightings of alternative Oswald’s who popped up around the South during the months running up to the events of November 22nd 1963. What remains a mystery are how many times Peel masqueraded as Oswald. Did Peel pay the suspicious trip to Mexico City Soviet Embassy? Our source refused to be drawn on it. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/lho.jpg" border="0" alt="its the real me"></p>
	<p>Peel began to smell a rat after he was asked to go to a shooting range and shoot at other peoples targets, telling them he thought he was shooting at ‘that son of a bitch Kennedy!’ Initially viewing it as a bit of fun poking at the expense of the ignorant Texan rednecks, he saw the noose tightening around the neck of his friend from New Orleans when Hunt hinted to him he might need a new alias as Oswald would not be around for much longer. The penny dropped with the astute Peel when fellow agent Richard Case Nagell, afraid he would take the rap, fired three shots in to the ceiling of a southern bank with a high powered rifle, then calmly waited to be arrested. He used his one phone call to tip off the whole story to Peel.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bookd.jpg" border="0" alt="on a clear day you can see the sniper"></p>
	<p>After his telex to every FBI office in the land warning of the plot was ‘ignored’, Peel had to think fast. Unable to contact Oswald before or on the morning of the Presidential visit, John hatched a make or break plan. He would try and spoil the apparent coup d’tat by taking a shot at the President himself from an exposed position. Finding himself a spot behind a picket fence at the far end of Dealey Plaza at the top of a grassy knoll he waited. Sadly for Peel and the world, he didn’t have the full details of the plot and his shot, [which missed] was lost in the hail of gunfire from the book Texas Schoolbook Depository. Confiding in the late Kenny Everett, a one-time Radio 1 colleague, he hoped his shot would pre-empt the actual assassination attempt and the motorcade would speed away and he could betray the actual assassins upon his arrest or later when he was in custody.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/grassy-knoll.jpg" border="0" alt="i was that grassy knoll"></p>
	<p>Frightened by the hostile mob heading up the knoll toward him, not to mention the armed police out-riders the DJ made a sharp exit. In his haste he dropped a rare Link Wray acetate, over looked by the Warren Commission and now unplayable due to shabby storage over the years, but the distinctive biro star system Peel used to rate records he received can still be clearly seen on the sleeve.  With the world caving in around his friend Peel made for the Dallas Police station to attempt to ensure the true came out. Masquerading as we know as a British reporter, he failed to get his story across. Keen eyed observes can spot an exasperated Peel in the later press conference watching impotently as the Police parade a the now famous Mannlicher Carcano rifle, he himself had bought for Oswald some months earlier.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/manncar.jpg" border="0" alt="i"></p>
	<p>Frustrated, Peel dropped in on Ruby’s on the way home. hoping to meet with some contacts in a vain attempt to right the monumental wrong. Instead he found a drunken and upset Ruby. Try as he may, he could not dissuade Ruby from his conviction of Oswald’s guilt. Others had been before him and poisoned the volatile Jack’s mind with all manner of tales incriminating Lee Harvey. Suspecting Ruby would be so drunk he'd forget the whole thing by morning, John went home to try and think of another way out for everyone. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/jack-dubbed-up.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>But events travelled fast and the following day, whilst taking his usual place in the press scrum he saw Jack Ruby lunge through the crowd and fire his deadly volley. Sandwiched between several meaty mid-western hacks, Peel couldn’t get close enough to prevent the bloodshed.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/hippy.jpg" border="0" alt="turn on, tune in, have a nice cup of tea"></p>
	<p>Soon after Peel moved to LA and a new assignment investigating the growing counter-culture. He began to become increasingly paranoid of his intelligence colleagues. Though no-one was aware of the true identity of the grass knoll gunman, they had their suspicions. Equally the public began to ask questions of the official version of events, particularly the growing legions of sceptical conspiracy theorists. By the late ‘60’s, Peel had grown so disillusioned by his intelligence work he moved back to Britain. MI6 put him to work on the growing number of Pirate Radio stations at anchor in the international waters around Britain. It was here he met Terry Wogan, a former Irish terrorist, who had renounced violence in favour of light hearted banter.<br>
Realising that a leopard could indeed change his spots, he resigned from the spying business and devoted himself to his first love: - rock ‘n’ roll. With the advent of Radio 1, and his new name John Peel, adopted upon his break with the intelligence services, the legend we all know was born. </p>
	<p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PA67peel3.jpg" title="and i thought MI6 was dodgy"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/PA67peel3_small.jpg" border="0" alt="and i thought MI6 was dodgy"></a></p>
	<p>His late night spot was deliberate. Wary of not only the CIA, but the ever growing conspiracy theory cottage industry, his late night spot kept him largely out of the limelight. He refused the breakfast show and many other higher profile slots, for the same reasons. He didn’t want his face to be known, especially with the ever growing volumes of photographic analysis of the ‘grassy knoll’ gunman. He feared one day techniques would become so advanced that his face could be plucked from the image. So far this has not been the case. Also Peel alone knew his shot had missed and it seems he was delighted when the computer simulation by boffin Dale Myers in 2003 seemed to put paid to the grassy knoll head shot theory for at least a few years. Nevertheless he remained haunted by those earth shattering events. He never knew for sure if Oswald had been the gunman or if anyone had fired that day. His credentials within the intelligence community sank from Nov 22nd onward, and he was out of the loop for anything other than his own operations.</p>
	<p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/badgeman.jpg" title="if you look closely you can also see the 1962 spurs team"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/badgeman_small.jpg" border="0" alt="if you look closely you can also see the 1962 spurs team"></a></p>
	<p>It irked him at first that the ‘awful’ bands he championed in order to keep his low profile below ground, almost always became the most critically acclaimed bands of their generation. However by the 1980’s he had changed so much from those early days in Dallas, that his fear ebbed away and he reluctantly began to embrace his fame.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/spyboy.jpg" border="0" alt="my name issh jawhnon peeeall, the elphant dj"></p>
	<p>Continually battling his demons, his award winning Home Truths radio show, was originally meant as an opportunity for Peel to come clean about his previous double life and his guilt over failing to save President Kennedy, the hapless Oswald or the luckless Jack Ruby. However at the last minute, programmers backed out and the show was aired in it’s now famous format. Rumours persist that the first confessional show is locked away in the BBC vaults.</p>
	<p>More astute conspiracy theorists have suggested that Peel’s sudden death bear the hallmarks of CIA skulduggery, but these remain as such – theories. Whatever the truth, John Peel was his own man to the end.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/upyours.jpg" border="0" alt="I am the dj, i am what i play"></p>
	<p>*Extract taken from John Peel – The Hitman and Hero – From The Bay Of Pigs To Dogs Die In Hot Cars by Simon Bates & Bruno Brookes, £19.99, Franklin Mint International Press
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/12/teenage_hits~175982/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/you_know_you_re_getting_old_when~170504/"><default:title>YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD WHEN…#1</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/you_know_you_re_getting_old_when~170504/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-09T06:09:15+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN…&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Ask most people over the age of say thirty [although it could just as easily be 25] how old they feel, invariably they will answer ‘Oh I don’t feel any different from when I was 17’. Try it and I’ll bet you’ll get an answer somewhere between that and 25. Whether this just happens to be because it is the first option to tick on the ever growing number of surveys we find ourselves filling in these days and we jealously wish we could still be in that box instead of a few doors down, I don’t know. Anyway...&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/survey2.jpg" border="0" alt="Do I really Need A Years Supply Of Parrot Food?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I know a simple way to ascertain our true mental age or certainly outlook in life. It saves a lot of surveying by psychologists and other trick-cyclists of the same ilk who populate our airwaves these days with their theories. It is very easy. Just watch the ‘80’s Brat-pack movie ‘The Breakfast Club’&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/24260.jpg" title="Don"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/24260_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Don"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Okay, fast forward the odious title song by arch pop-villain and po-faced charlatan Jim Kerr [see previous listings for my feelings on this waste of vocal chords] and you will soon realise why I have always thought the film good barometer of your world view.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Firstly it isn’t very good, but that’s not the point. It is clichéd tripe with stock characters chewing up almost all of the scenery before they are carted off to be slaughtered for the several tons of Ham they produced. I will not review the film but I will give you a quick rundown of the afore-mentioned protagonists and a brief plot outline.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/school.jpg" border="0" alt="We Don"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;FIVE KIDS- [played by 30 year olds in some cases] &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;JOCK O'SPORTY&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/images.jpg" border="0" alt="Madrid is Good, But Their English Isn"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;BILLY BRAINBOCKS&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/patron_hawkings.jpg" border="0" alt="Let"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;TOMMY TUFF&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAKB2ZIA.jpg" border="0" alt="She"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;MISSY ODD&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAMNUFIR.jpg" border="0" alt="I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;QUEENIE PROM&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CACHIRC9.jpg" border="0" alt="Voice of an angel, Brain of an amobea"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;ARE ON DETENTION FOR REASONS SPANNING FROM THE SENSIBLE TO THE SUBLIME AND THE COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM IS MR. BALLBREAKER,&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tonyblair_500_afp_250.jpg" border="0" alt="My Cherie No More Wacky Lifestyle Gurus Please"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;WHILST COOLIO STONED, THE JANITOR, TIDIES UP.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAU50JMT.jpg" border="0" alt="Oi"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;THE KIDS ALL BOND AND REALISE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME IN DIFFERENT WAYS. QUEENIE GETS A BIT ROUGHER AND MISSY ODD GOES NORMAL [I personally always thought she looked better as a mad Goth&lt;br&gt;
Type, but that’s just me] THE LADS HAVE SIMILAR MOMENTS OF TEEN CLARITY. EVERYONE GOES HOME. THE END.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/chemset.jpg" border="0" alt="Can we make a bomb with this Dad?"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Right, everyone clear on the story? [If you are still confused, I’m sure it is on some channel somewhere as we speak or rather read.] Here’s the science as Ms Aniston would say, back before her hubby buggered of with that better looking chick with the lips. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/you-decide.jpg" border="0" alt="I know who I"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I suspect you’d imagine I’d contend that if you are a teenager you will possibly identify with one or more of the kids. You will if you are monumentally sad or emotionally stunted. I always found them horrible and still do and rather hoped it would turn into Halloween or Friday The 13th and they all ended up on a mortuary slab as the credits ran. However I realise that not everyone is as bitter and twisted as me, so I am going to contend that, but I’d say younger people [pre-teens and under 17’s] will identify with the crazy mixed up kids more.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tobe.jpg" border="0" alt="Tarnation! I missed The School Bus again!"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Most of the rest of the younger generation will actually identify with the janitor who appears to be cool and has a hip philosophy. He is a non-conformist and has opted out. He is vital to the running of the school, but is in no position of power and never will. Rather like the Liberal party in Britain. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The key to my theory revolves around Mr Ballbreaker and when you identify with him you have grown up. You are officially old. Your pipe and slippers await. Feel secure in your comfortable shoes. I do.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/slippers.jpg" border="0" alt="Pass the crack cocaine dearie"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Here’s how it works and it is very simple.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;12-19: When you are young you are self obsessed and you have a tiny world view. Usually your school, college etc. Mr Ballbreaker is spoiling your fun.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;21- 30: You are beginning to find younger people rather annoying, especially in the pub. ‘They are just kids’. However you still don’t like Mr Ballbreaker, as he is now your boss. You just want to draw your pay without too much hassle, keeping your head down like Stoner the janitor.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;30-[add whatever age you want, the youth think 21 is old] You think that Mr Ballbreaker might have wanted to go to the pub that afternoon, want the football, go fishing, stay in bed with the wife, take the kids out etc. You feel sorry for Mr Ballbreaker and like him because you have just realised that he is like you. He is you!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;That’s why kids follow teachers around shops or marvel when they see them falling out of the boozer. The do not realise that they exist on any other plain of reality other than teaching them. They might as well plug themselves into the classroom cupboard each night to power up for the next day’s lessons. Perhaps some of them do.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/robocop.jpg" border="0" alt="20 lines or comply!"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;So I’d like 200 words on why ‘The Breakfast Club’ is an important barometer on the aging process by Monday morning or I’m coming in crackin’ skulls!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tuffguy.jpg" border="0" alt="C"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/you_know_you_re_getting_old_when~170504/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN…</p>
	<p>Ask most people over the age of say thirty [although it could just as easily be 25] how old they feel, invariably they will answer ‘Oh I don’t feel any different from when I was 17’. Try it and I’ll bet you’ll get an answer somewhere between that and 25. Whether this just happens to be because it is the first option to tick on the ever growing number of surveys we find ourselves filling in these days and we jealously wish we could still be in that box instead of a few doors down, I don’t know. Anyway...</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/survey2.jpg" border="0" alt="Do I really Need A Years Supply Of Parrot Food?"></p>
	<p>I know a simple way to ascertain our true mental age or certainly outlook in life. It saves a lot of surveying by psychologists and other trick-cyclists of the same ilk who populate our airwaves these days with their theories. It is very easy. Just watch the ‘80’s Brat-pack movie ‘The Breakfast Club’</p>
	<p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/24260.jpg" title="Don"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/24260_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Don"></a></p>
	<p>Okay, fast forward the odious title song by arch pop-villain and po-faced charlatan Jim Kerr [see previous listings for my feelings on this waste of vocal chords] and you will soon realise why I have always thought the film good barometer of your world view.</p>
	<p>Firstly it isn’t very good, but that’s not the point. It is clichéd tripe with stock characters chewing up almost all of the scenery before they are carted off to be slaughtered for the several tons of Ham they produced. I will not review the film but I will give you a quick rundown of the afore-mentioned protagonists and a brief plot outline.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/school.jpg" border="0" alt="We Don"></p>
	<p>FIVE KIDS- [played by 30 year olds in some cases] </p>
	<p>JOCK O'SPORTY<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/images.jpg" border="0" alt="Madrid is Good, But Their English Isn"></p>
	<p>BILLY BRAINBOCKS<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/patron_hawkings.jpg" border="0" alt="Let"></p>
	<p>TOMMY TUFF<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAKB2ZIA.jpg" border="0" alt="She"></p>
	<p>MISSY ODD<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAMNUFIR.jpg" border="0" alt="I"></p>
	<p>QUEENIE PROM<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CACHIRC9.jpg" border="0" alt="Voice of an angel, Brain of an amobea"></p>
	<p>ARE ON DETENTION FOR REASONS SPANNING FROM THE SENSIBLE TO THE SUBLIME AND THE COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.</p>
	<p>KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM IS MR. BALLBREAKER,<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tonyblair_500_afp_250.jpg" border="0" alt="My Cherie No More Wacky Lifestyle Gurus Please"></p>
	<p>WHILST COOLIO STONED, THE JANITOR, TIDIES UP.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAU50JMT.jpg" border="0" alt="Oi"></p>
	<p>THE KIDS ALL BOND AND REALISE THEY ARE ALL THE SAME IN DIFFERENT WAYS. QUEENIE GETS A BIT ROUGHER AND MISSY ODD GOES NORMAL [I personally always thought she looked better as a mad Goth<br>
Type, but that’s just me] THE LADS HAVE SIMILAR MOMENTS OF TEEN CLARITY. EVERYONE GOES HOME. THE END.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/chemset.jpg" border="0" alt="Can we make a bomb with this Dad?"></p>
	<p>Right, everyone clear on the story? [If you are still confused, I’m sure it is on some channel somewhere as we speak or rather read.] Here’s the science as Ms Aniston would say, back before her hubby buggered of with that better looking chick with the lips. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/you-decide.jpg" border="0" alt="I know who I"></p>
	<p>I suspect you’d imagine I’d contend that if you are a teenager you will possibly identify with one or more of the kids. You will if you are monumentally sad or emotionally stunted. I always found them horrible and still do and rather hoped it would turn into Halloween or Friday The 13th and they all ended up on a mortuary slab as the credits ran. However I realise that not everyone is as bitter and twisted as me, so I am going to contend that, but I’d say younger people [pre-teens and under 17’s] will identify with the crazy mixed up kids more.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tobe.jpg" border="0" alt="Tarnation! I missed The School Bus again!"></p>
	<p>Most of the rest of the younger generation will actually identify with the janitor who appears to be cool and has a hip philosophy. He is a non-conformist and has opted out. He is vital to the running of the school, but is in no position of power and never will. Rather like the Liberal party in Britain. </p>
	<p>The key to my theory revolves around Mr Ballbreaker and when you identify with him you have grown up. You are officially old. Your pipe and slippers await. Feel secure in your comfortable shoes. I do.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/slippers.jpg" border="0" alt="Pass the crack cocaine dearie"></p>
	<p>Here’s how it works and it is very simple.</p>
	<p>12-19: When you are young you are self obsessed and you have a tiny world view. Usually your school, college etc. Mr Ballbreaker is spoiling your fun.</p>
	<p>21- 30: You are beginning to find younger people rather annoying, especially in the pub. ‘They are just kids’. However you still don’t like Mr Ballbreaker, as he is now your boss. You just want to draw your pay without too much hassle, keeping your head down like Stoner the janitor.</p>
	<p>30-[add whatever age you want, the youth think 21 is old] You think that Mr Ballbreaker might have wanted to go to the pub that afternoon, want the football, go fishing, stay in bed with the wife, take the kids out etc. You feel sorry for Mr Ballbreaker and like him because you have just realised that he is like you. He is you!</p>
	<p>That’s why kids follow teachers around shops or marvel when they see them falling out of the boozer. The do not realise that they exist on any other plain of reality other than teaching them. They might as well plug themselves into the classroom cupboard each night to power up for the next day’s lessons. Perhaps some of them do.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/robocop.jpg" border="0" alt="20 lines or comply!"></p>
	<p>So I’d like 200 words on why ‘The Breakfast Club’ is an important barometer on the aging process by Monday morning or I’m coming in crackin’ skulls!</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/tuffguy.jpg" border="0" alt="C">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/you_know_you_re_getting_old_when~170504/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_return_of_the_native~170485/"><default:title>The Return Of The Native</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_return_of_the_native~170485/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-09-09T04:48:50+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAMG2ULX_01.jpg" border="0" alt="The Bermuda triangle is caused by the Shadow of barry manilow\"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It all seemed a bit too good to be true, but I can confirm that I am back this time. For good, I think. Being exiled from cyberspace is a little like the Bermuda Triangle, but not as much fun as Fantasy Island.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CARU9KLZ_01.jpg" border="0" alt="He Took All The Towels And Soap!\"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I shall explain my disappearing act at a later date. But as you can see from the before and after photo's, it hasn't exactly been a picnic!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;BEFORE&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CABNXDC2_01.jpg" border="0" alt="Some Say I Disguised myself as That Fellow From Queen. Yes That\"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;AFTER&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAWDAZGH_02.jpg" border="0" alt="The Charles Darwin Look Is All The rage With The Soho Hep-cats You Know"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_return_of_the_native~170485/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAMG2ULX_01.jpg" border="0" alt="The Bermuda triangle is caused by the Shadow of barry manilow\"></p>
	<p>It all seemed a bit too good to be true, but I can confirm that I am back this time. For good, I think. Being exiled from cyberspace is a little like the Bermuda Triangle, but not as much fun as Fantasy Island.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CARU9KLZ_01.jpg" border="0" alt="He Took All The Towels And Soap!\"></p>
	<p>I shall explain my disappearing act at a later date. But as you can see from the before and after photo's, it hasn't exactly been a picnic!</p>
	<p>BEFORE</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CABNXDC2_01.jpg" border="0" alt="Some Say I Disguised myself as That Fellow From Queen. Yes That\"></p>
	<p>AFTER</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CAWDAZGH_02.jpg" border="0" alt="The Charles Darwin Look Is All The rage With The Soho Hep-cats You Know">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_return_of_the_native~170485/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/07/29/the_guy_who_came_in_from_the_cold/"><default:title>The Guy Who Came In From The Cold</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/07/29/the_guy_who_came_in_from_the_cold/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-07-29T18:53:59+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;Although I never actually went anywhere, I am back. Perhaps you missed me. I shall explore the drawbacks of being exiled from cyberspace at a later date. My hasn't the world  changed since I've been away. A tornado in Brum! The IRA stand down and Al-Queada step up to bat. For what? Their cause seems as doomed to fail as everyone elses down the line. But I'm sure some may disagree, after all, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/newspic105.jpg" border="0" alt="The Good Old Days"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;It is looking more and more everyday that the 20th Century despite its monumental blood and gore led to probably one of the most peaceful global eras:- The Cold war. The fear of mutually assured destruction appeared to have kept the usual suspects quiet. Now with that threat lifted, it is back to square one. Trouble in the Balkans, the Sudan, Afghanistan. It is just like the 19th Century all over again. Perhaps they ought to put the Berlin wall back up again so we can all sleep easy in our beds. Sadly, the sidewinder does not sleep tonight...&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA5V03DQ.jpg" border="0" alt="Cowboy Builders"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/07/29/the_guy_who_came_in_from_the_cold/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>Although I never actually went anywhere, I am back. Perhaps you missed me. I shall explore the drawbacks of being exiled from cyberspace at a later date. My hasn't the world  changed since I've been away. A tornado in Brum! The IRA stand down and Al-Queada step up to bat. For what? Their cause seems as doomed to fail as everyone elses down the line. But I'm sure some may disagree, after all, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/newspic105.jpg" border="0" alt="The Good Old Days"></p>
	<p>It is looking more and more everyday that the 20th Century despite its monumental blood and gore led to probably one of the most peaceful global eras:- The Cold war. The fear of mutually assured destruction appeared to have kept the usual suspects quiet. Now with that threat lifted, it is back to square one. Trouble in the Balkans, the Sudan, Afghanistan. It is just like the 19th Century all over again. Perhaps they ought to put the Berlin wall back up again so we can all sleep easy in our beds. Sadly, the sidewinder does not sleep tonight...</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/CA5V03DQ.jpg" border="0" alt="Cowboy Builders">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/07/29/the_guy_who_came_in_from_the_cold/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/07/you_can_t_beat_a_bit_of_bully/"><default:title>You Can't Beat A Bit Of Bully!</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/07/you_can_t_beat_a_bit_of_bully/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-06-07T17:53:42+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;The weekend newspapers surrendered a lot of column inches to retrospectives chronicling of the highs and frequent lows of 1980’s Game shows. Whilst some of the answers from Family Fortunes or 3-2-1 still shock and amaze even today even though they have passed wholly into the collective consciousness, neither truly awful programme features my favourite bit of great bad telly.&lt;br&gt;
This lofty honour goes to Bullseye.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bullseye.JPG" border="0" alt="Super, smashin"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;This tacky Jim Bowen star vehicle almost saw him upstaged by a twelve inch rubber bull. Luckily, unlike Ted Rodgers, who played second fiddle to a wheelie bin, Bowen had a modicum of talent or sensibly didn’t take himself too seriously and enjoyed the cash rewards of hosting a prime time hit.&lt;br&gt;
The hitherto relatively unknown Northern club comedian presided over the now legendary darts based quiz show. Each round featured increasingly contrived dart based capers for bigger prizes – from cold cash to washing machines. [Well this was Thatcher’s Britain after all.] The climax approached when the winning pair of contestants could choose to go home with their blenders, rotary lawn-mowers and a couple of hundred quid or gamble it all on Bully’s prize board. Potentially leaving with nothing.The nation, relaxing after Sunday dinner held their breath.&lt;br&gt;
The secret of Bullseye’s success lay in this moment. The non-dart player whose intellect was crucial to the early general knowledge rounds became a curse as their basic lack of darts skill became glaringly obvious. This coupled with the not infrequent handicaps of being half blind or senile didn’t help the thick witted cur with the actual flair for the game when their turn came. Even if the more experienced dart artist managed to pull the magic 101 or more score out of the blue after the useless partner missed the board with all three darts, the all conquering hero from the land- locked Midlands would invariably win a speedboat. As much use as a chocolate tea-pot I can hear Jim say. More often than not they would pass and allow the useless second place duo to try. On one occasion I think the third place team played the prize board and won, yes, a speed boat. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/park.JPG" border="0" alt="Charlie, if we hadn"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;This all leads us all very nicely to my favourite moment. A pair of unusually gifted brothers managed to win around 500 pounds and almost all of the white goods and other electrical boy toys and they stood on the thresh-hold of winning whatever lurked behind Bully’s prize board. Both could handle a dart or two, and the final test would have presented little challenge. But you could see they knew that the speed boat or a jet ski awaited them.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/our-kid.JPG" border="0" alt="Tolpuddle Martyrs"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Are youse goin’ to gamble lads? Says Jim, milking the tension for all it was worth.&lt;br&gt;
Naw, we’ve ‘ad a good t’day an’ we’re gonna keep t’ prizes and give t’ money t’our ‘kid whose goin’ t’Australia next month. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/oz.JPG" border="0" alt="19th Century British Criminals Holidayed In Australia Instead Of Spain"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Cue applause and the happy lads take their seat in the audience beside the younger sibling, waiting to laugh at the misfortune of the latest Birmingham boat owners. However a cosmic gear shifted or perhaps a speedboat was quickly hauled away backstage.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/boobie-prize.JPG" title="I promised the wife that patio set for her birthday! Shut up and keep pushing."&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/boobie-prize_small.jpg" border="0" alt="I promised the wife that patio set for her birthday! Shut up and keep pushing."&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Mind bogglingly; team two won a two week holiday in Australia. For the first and only time the prize was worth having. The camera hovered on the faces of two not very happy dish- washer and microwave oven owners and a crest fallen our kid.&lt;br&gt;
I have a feeling these darts’ geniuses had cleaned out the prize fund for the rest of the series and this was revenge. I almost thought Jimbo was going to roll out his losers catchphrase just for them: 'And here's what you would have won!' Or at least I like to think so. When television is good, it’s good but when it is bad it is really good.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/boat.JPG" border="0" alt="Remember, a boat isn"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/07/you_can_t_beat_a_bit_of_bully/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>The weekend newspapers surrendered a lot of column inches to retrospectives chronicling of the highs and frequent lows of 1980’s Game shows. Whilst some of the answers from Family Fortunes or 3-2-1 still shock and amaze even today even though they have passed wholly into the collective consciousness, neither truly awful programme features my favourite bit of great bad telly.<br>
This lofty honour goes to Bullseye.<br>
<img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bullseye.JPG" border="0" alt="Super, smashin"></p>
	<p>This tacky Jim Bowen star vehicle almost saw him upstaged by a twelve inch rubber bull. Luckily, unlike Ted Rodgers, who played second fiddle to a wheelie bin, Bowen had a modicum of talent or sensibly didn’t take himself too seriously and enjoyed the cash rewards of hosting a prime time hit.<br>
The hitherto relatively unknown Northern club comedian presided over the now legendary darts based quiz show. Each round featured increasingly contrived dart based capers for bigger prizes – from cold cash to washing machines. [Well this was Thatcher’s Britain after all.] The climax approached when the winning pair of contestants could choose to go home with their blenders, rotary lawn-mowers and a couple of hundred quid or gamble it all on Bully’s prize board. Potentially leaving with nothing.The nation, relaxing after Sunday dinner held their breath.<br>
The secret of Bullseye’s success lay in this moment. The non-dart player whose intellect was crucial to the early general knowledge rounds became a curse as their basic lack of darts skill became glaringly obvious. This coupled with the not infrequent handicaps of being half blind or senile didn’t help the thick witted cur with the actual flair for the game when their turn came. Even if the more experienced dart artist managed to pull the magic 101 or more score out of the blue after the useless partner missed the board with all three darts, the all conquering hero from the land- locked Midlands would invariably win a speedboat. As much use as a chocolate tea-pot I can hear Jim say. More often than not they would pass and allow the useless second place duo to try. On one occasion I think the third place team played the prize board and won, yes, a speed boat. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/park.JPG" border="0" alt="Charlie, if we hadn"></p>
	<p>This all leads us all very nicely to my favourite moment. A pair of unusually gifted brothers managed to win around 500 pounds and almost all of the white goods and other electrical boy toys and they stood on the thresh-hold of winning whatever lurked behind Bully’s prize board. Both could handle a dart or two, and the final test would have presented little challenge. But you could see they knew that the speed boat or a jet ski awaited them.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/our-kid.JPG" border="0" alt="Tolpuddle Martyrs"></p>
	<p>Are youse goin’ to gamble lads? Says Jim, milking the tension for all it was worth.<br>
Naw, we’ve ‘ad a good t’day an’ we’re gonna keep t’ prizes and give t’ money t’our ‘kid whose goin’ t’Australia next month. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/oz.JPG" border="0" alt="19th Century British Criminals Holidayed In Australia Instead Of Spain"></p>
	<p>Cue applause and the happy lads take their seat in the audience beside the younger sibling, waiting to laugh at the misfortune of the latest Birmingham boat owners. However a cosmic gear shifted or perhaps a speedboat was quickly hauled away backstage.</p>
	<p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/boobie-prize.JPG" title="I promised the wife that patio set for her birthday! Shut up and keep pushing."><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/boobie-prize_small.jpg" border="0" alt="I promised the wife that patio set for her birthday! Shut up and keep pushing."></a></p>
	<p>Mind bogglingly; team two won a two week holiday in Australia. For the first and only time the prize was worth having. The camera hovered on the faces of two not very happy dish- washer and microwave oven owners and a crest fallen our kid.<br>
I have a feeling these darts’ geniuses had cleaned out the prize fund for the rest of the series and this was revenge. I almost thought Jimbo was going to roll out his losers catchphrase just for them: 'And here's what you would have won!' Or at least I like to think so. When television is good, it’s good but when it is bad it is really good.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/boat.JPG" border="0" alt="Remember, a boat isn">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/07/you_can_t_beat_a_bit_of_bully/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/03/camera_caught_lying/"><default:title>Camera Caught Lying</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/03/camera_caught_lying/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-06-03T16:47:49+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/AIRBRUSH.JPG" border="0" alt="I Never Looked This Young Even When I Was 14"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;I was standing in queue for ciggies at my local Tesco last week. It was taking forever because only one person was manning the counter despite there being two cash registers. [Evidently the supermarket chain have forgotten about their pledge to never have an unattended till.]&lt;br&gt;
As I waited for the endless procession of OAP's to buy their umpteen lottery tickets my eyes came to rest on Hello magazine. It featured a pretty young blonde showing of her new born child. Who is this starlet I wondered? Must be one of those new ones with the silly unpronounceable names like Charlize Theron, Mena Suvari or Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. Whoever it was, I knew their face from somewhere.&lt;br&gt;
Despite a further scan of the Hollywood data banks, I still drew a blank. It struck me that I ought to read what it said on the cover and I would quickly solve the mystery blonde enigma. Why I hadn't thought of this before, I shall leave up to you.&lt;br&gt;
Well you could have knocked me down with a feather and called me a monkey's uncle. It wasn't some new kid on the block at all, it was the very pronounceable  Sharon Stone! The woman who took going 'commando' to new heights [or depths depending on your outlook]. She appeared to have un-aged about thirty odd years. She looked about 14. Or younger.&lt;br&gt;
Had she found the fabled 'elixir of youth'? No, not quite. This wasn't a facelift, botox or any other kind of cosmetic surgery, although I'm Ms Stone has probably had the lot. No the only thing that can make you look this young is an airbrush. I would estimate their is enough paint on this photo to coat the Forth Rail Bridge twice.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bridge.JPG" border="0" alt="I hear we are getting painted with leftover Michael Douglas this year."&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; Sadly I couldn't find a large enough picture to adequately convey sexy Shazza in all her pre-pubescent glory, but the next time you are in the Doctor's waiting room or at the hairdressers keep an eye out for this miracle of camera trickery. It is more intriguing than the Mona Lisa.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/mona.JPG" border="0" alt="Are You Sure?"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/03/camera_caught_lying/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/AIRBRUSH.JPG" border="0" alt="I Never Looked This Young Even When I Was 14"></p>
	<p>I was standing in queue for ciggies at my local Tesco last week. It was taking forever because only one person was manning the counter despite there being two cash registers. [Evidently the supermarket chain have forgotten about their pledge to never have an unattended till.]<br>
As I waited for the endless procession of OAP's to buy their umpteen lottery tickets my eyes came to rest on Hello magazine. It featured a pretty young blonde showing of her new born child. Who is this starlet I wondered? Must be one of those new ones with the silly unpronounceable names like Charlize Theron, Mena Suvari or Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. Whoever it was, I knew their face from somewhere.<br>
Despite a further scan of the Hollywood data banks, I still drew a blank. It struck me that I ought to read what it said on the cover and I would quickly solve the mystery blonde enigma. Why I hadn't thought of this before, I shall leave up to you.<br>
Well you could have knocked me down with a feather and called me a monkey's uncle. It wasn't some new kid on the block at all, it was the very pronounceable  Sharon Stone! The woman who took going 'commando' to new heights [or depths depending on your outlook]. She appeared to have un-aged about thirty odd years. She looked about 14. Or younger.<br>
Had she found the fabled 'elixir of youth'? No, not quite. This wasn't a facelift, botox or any other kind of cosmetic surgery, although I'm Ms Stone has probably had the lot. No the only thing that can make you look this young is an airbrush. I would estimate their is enough paint on this photo to coat the Forth Rail Bridge twice.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bridge.JPG" border="0" alt="I hear we are getting painted with leftover Michael Douglas this year."></p>
	<p> Sadly I couldn't find a large enough picture to adequately convey sexy Shazza in all her pre-pubescent glory, but the next time you are in the Doctor's waiting room or at the hairdressers keep an eye out for this miracle of camera trickery. It is more intriguing than the Mona Lisa.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/mona.JPG" border="0" alt="Are You Sure?">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/03/camera_caught_lying/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/un_gentlemanly_caller/"><default:title>Un-Gentlemanly Caller</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/un_gentlemanly_caller/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-06-02T19:49:42+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;I think call centres like to cultivate this image of their staff. &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/theory.JPG" border="0" alt="Theory"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Clean cut, polite and charming to the caller.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;However, today, I received a quite unwelcome call from a mobile phone company trying to get me to transfer my account to them. The conversation went a little like this...&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Phone rings.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;ME:Hello&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;MIKE:Hi, I'm Mike from Scam Telecom and I see you have an account with Robber Phones. Can you tell me how much you are paying per month?&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;ME: [politely] To be perfectly honest, I don't think that is any of your business. I am perfectly happy with my....&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;MIKE: [bad attempt at Scottish accent] Oh to be perfectly honest, , I don't think that is any of your business.&lt;br&gt;
[reverts to normal voice]&lt;br&gt;
You scumbag! You dirty scumbag! You f*cking dirty Scottish scumbag!&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Mike hangs up.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/practise.JPG" border="0" alt="Practise"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;What puzzled me was why was he so annoyed. I was perfectly polite to him. After all he was cold calling me, not he other way around. Sadly I couldn't remember the name of his company. Which was a pity as I wanted to ring back and complain about him. However I actually wasn't paying any attention when he said it. I was too busy considering the quickest way to get rid of him. Maybe he was psychic. But I doubt it. He was just a saddo who worked in a call centre. I now see the funny side of it, as can be noted in a photograph taken of me shortly after the event.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nut.JPG" border="0" alt="Eh!"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/un_gentlemanly_caller/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>I think call centres like to cultivate this image of their staff. </p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/theory.JPG" border="0" alt="Theory"></p>
	<p>Clean cut, polite and charming to the caller.</p>
	<p>However, today, I received a quite unwelcome call from a mobile phone company trying to get me to transfer my account to them. The conversation went a little like this...</p>
	<p>Phone rings.</p>
	<p>ME:Hello</p>
	<p>MIKE:Hi, I'm Mike from Scam Telecom and I see you have an account with Robber Phones. Can you tell me how much you are paying per month?</p>
	<p>ME: [politely] To be perfectly honest, I don't think that is any of your business. I am perfectly happy with my....</p>
	<p>MIKE: [bad attempt at Scottish accent] Oh to be perfectly honest, , I don't think that is any of your business.<br>
[reverts to normal voice]<br>
You scumbag! You dirty scumbag! You f*cking dirty Scottish scumbag!</p>
	<p>Mike hangs up.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/practise.JPG" border="0" alt="Practise"></p>
	<p>What puzzled me was why was he so annoyed. I was perfectly polite to him. After all he was cold calling me, not he other way around. Sadly I couldn't remember the name of his company. Which was a pity as I wanted to ring back and complain about him. However I actually wasn't paying any attention when he said it. I was too busy considering the quickest way to get rid of him. Maybe he was psychic. But I doubt it. He was just a saddo who worked in a call centre. I now see the funny side of it, as can be noted in a photograph taken of me shortly after the event.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/nut.JPG" border="0" alt="Eh!"></p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/un_gentlemanly_caller/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/britain_s_worst_rock_stars/"><default:title>Britain's Worst Rock Stars</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/britain_s_worst_rock_stars/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-06-02T13:58:14+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;You will find below a selection of what I believe to be the very worst of British regional rock. The list is heavy with Scottish rogues, mainly because as a nation, Scotland has consistently failed to produce any home grown talent unless you include David Byrne, who was born in Dumbarton, but wisely his parents whisked him off on a plane to America moments after his birth. Nevertheless, even he has lost his way also after a promising start.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;JIM KERR - [SIMPLE MINDS] &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; Could have been Bono, but his goggly eyes and bad hair saved us. Started out as a Kraut-rock influenced avant garde-ists and ended up as po-faced stadium rocker. This pseudo intellectual muppet is rumoured to have swanned around Glasgow in his pre-famous years in a long black trench coat with a swastika emblazoned on the back carrying [no doubt unread] works of Uris and Solzhenitsyn under his arm whilst proclaiming his desire to have a golden bus as his mirror on the world.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - With so much to choose from it is difficult, but the sick bag inducing false empathy of 'Mandela Day' wins hands down. Prisoner exchange between Nelson and Kerr would have ensured heightened global rejoiced.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - Failed spectacularly in his bid to buy Glasgow Celtic Football Club&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;JUSTIN CURRIE - [DEL AMITRI] &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The Facially hirsute Jock rocker who fancied himself as Jim Morrison meets Morrissey enjoyed fifteen minutes of fame with 'Nothing Ever Happens' and 'Always The Last To Know' [probably less if one takes in the respective running times]. Faded into deserved obscurity after the well meaning but incredibly lame 1998 Scottish World Cup anthem 'Don't Come Home Too Soon'. Last observed being rejected by a fat Goth girl in a Glasgow nightclub.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - Getting political on a children's music show with his completely ill-informed economic spoutings, witness: - 'There's so much poverty in the world. Why don't they just print more money?' The words 'hyper' and 'inflation' spring to mind Justin. Proof positive that Rock Stars should be seen and not heard.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - Always a source of great amusement watching him ride around town on his bright green push bike whilst wearing matching leather Gestapo trench coat and trousers.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;CHUMBAWAMBA  &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; Pretentious bunch of Yorkshire Agit-Prop ne’er-do-wells who made a career of alleged satirical pastiches of their more talented pop rivals. An imagined Anarcho-Socialist cutting edge disguised its utter banality. A career spanning twenty plus years spawned only one hit, the nauseatingly popular student anthem 'Tub-thumping. With a dozen odd non-entities in the ensemble, the royalties didn't stretch enough to record a follow up. This was a godsend for those blessed with hearing.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB- Drenching Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott at the uncool Brit Awards 1998 in a protest cum publicity stunt.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR- The stunt failed to capture the 'kids' imaginations and they faded back into the well deserved obscurity from whence they came.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;MIKE PETERS - THE ALARM &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Over mulleted driving force of Welsh post punk flash in the pan's The Alarm. Enjoyed a minor hit in 1983 with 68 Guns. Despite a lack of follow up success, Mikey [as he was then know] refused to give up the ghost and churned out a few more albums of sub-Clash, Welsh orientated political dirges. He is directly responsible for the emergence of the Manic Street Preachers due to the power vacuum for a pious self righteous bunch of tossers created in Welsh music by the demise of The Alarm.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - Having to play 68 Guns three times during a solo gig to keep the audience vaguely interested and to be heard above the chatter of gossiping barmaids and hairdressers.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - Easily beaten up or so I am reliably informed.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;BELLE AND SEBASTIAN &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt; Like Chumbawamba, this overcrowded twee Glasgow band named after some French Paedophile cartoon target students and intellectuals with their lofty, often smutty ballads. Actually they are one trick ponies whose songs all sound like 'Duchess' by The Stranglers. By employing a cynical reclusive attitude to touring in Britain they are yet to be found out. Nevertheless they continue to make a fortune touring South America and Japan and playing to huge crowds who mistakenly believe anything British equals Talented. And Money equals Old Rope. The pioneering missionary spirit of the British Empire lives on in this bunch of charlatans.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - Winning the best newcomers at the Brit awards in 1999 via a dodgy e-mail voting scam. Their debut album had been out for three years at this juncture.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - In doing so, they trounced bookie's favourite 'Stepps'. The producer of this truly awful bunch, cheese-meister Pete Waterman, was truly outraged. 'We wuz robbed, we shoulda stood in bed', the old curmudgeon was heard to rant.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;TOM JONES&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Once upon a time the Welsh Elvis was a bit of rough the ladies loved to shower with underwear. Nowadays after too much cosmetic surgery and a pie too far, the boy from the valleys has transformed into an overweight hernia faced day-glo golliwog. Having had the misfortune not to go bum up like many of his contemporaries or retired to the holiday camp circuit where he belongs, we are instead tortured by overly loud bombastic renditions of modern pop ditties, wholly inappropriate for a man of his age or indeed girth. He should know better, but he is either senile or permanently drunk.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - Getting the nose job that made him look like the 'Boy David' before facial reconstruction. [Note: David Lopez was discovered in Peru in the 1970's with his nose eaten away by disease, leaving a gaping hole.]&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR- He has some amusing Elvis anecdotes.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;MARTI PELLOW - [WET, WET, WET] &lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Born Mark McLaughlin in Clydebank, Pellow further cemented Scotland's reputation for being unable to produce a band of any sustained substance. The Wet's, as the liked to be known, churned out a succession of charmless white boy soul tracks in the 80's and 90's culminating in the witless monster hit 'Love Is All Around'. A bad cover of a bad original. His trademark smug perpetual grinning is made all the more remarkable by the revelation that he was off his head on heroin most of the time. If this was him on downers, how irritatingly ecstatic was he ordinarily? It doesn't bear thinking about.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - The seemingly endless mutli-genre hit 'Sweet Little Mystery'&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - He restricts himself to rehab and stage productions these days.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;BOBBY GILLESPIE - [PRIMAL SCREAM]&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;Skinny rat faced junkie frontman of the Scream. Once the drummer of Velvet Underground copyists, 'The Jesus and Mary Chain' until Bobby branched out on his own. Primal Scream jumped on every bandwagon available;- politico pop, rock/dance crossover, house, before settling on the time honoured escape route for uncreative British bands of the 1990's, they pretended to be the Rolling Stones. In a remarkably un-ironic fashion, largely thanks to his half-witted fans, he almost got away with it.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - Trying to convince rock journo's in the early 90's that he was the saviour of rock.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - The star jumps he often performs in videos are Chaplin-esque in their pathetic-ness.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;ROD STEWART&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;The once cool front man of ultimate lad’s band The Faces lost the plot when he thought male spandex and disco mixed. It all went rapidly downhill from then on. A mullet pioneer and surely the alter-ego of raspy voiced Bonnie Tyler [to rubbish to even include in this list] Rod became a hero of the tabloid press for his string of identikit blonde girlfriends. He considers himself a Scot, but we all know he is really a Cockney from deepest darkest London. The sight of Rod dressed in his frightening spandex gear in the late 1970's and early 80's caused many children to have nightmares. The godfather of cock-rock shows no sign of slowing down or growing up.&lt;br&gt;
LOWEST EBB - The serial killing of Tom Waits' Downtown Train and Tom Traubert's Blues.&lt;br&gt;
MITIGATING FACTOR - He once bought my aunt a drink.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/village-idiot_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Village Idiot"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/thicko_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Thicko"&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bored-hitless_01.JPG" title="Bored Hitless"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bored-hitless_01_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Bored Hitless"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/pop-druid_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Pop Druid"&gt;&lt;a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/carpetbaggers_01.JPG" title="Carpet-baggers"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/carpetbaggers_01_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Carpet-baggers"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/plumber_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Plumber"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/smug-cretin_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Smug Cretin"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/the-drugs-do-work_01.JPG" border="0" alt="The Drugs Do Work"&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/lady-boy_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Lady-boy"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/britain_s_worst_rock_stars/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>You will find below a selection of what I believe to be the very worst of British regional rock. The list is heavy with Scottish rogues, mainly because as a nation, Scotland has consistently failed to produce any home grown talent unless you include David Byrne, who was born in Dumbarton, but wisely his parents whisked him off on a plane to America moments after his birth. Nevertheless, even he has lost his way also after a promising start.</p>
	<p>JIM KERR - [SIMPLE MINDS] </p>
	<p> Could have been Bono, but his goggly eyes and bad hair saved us. Started out as a Kraut-rock influenced avant garde-ists and ended up as po-faced stadium rocker. This pseudo intellectual muppet is rumoured to have swanned around Glasgow in his pre-famous years in a long black trench coat with a swastika emblazoned on the back carrying [no doubt unread] works of Uris and Solzhenitsyn under his arm whilst proclaiming his desire to have a golden bus as his mirror on the world.<br>
LOWEST EBB - With so much to choose from it is difficult, but the sick bag inducing false empathy of 'Mandela Day' wins hands down. Prisoner exchange between Nelson and Kerr would have ensured heightened global rejoiced.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - Failed spectacularly in his bid to buy Glasgow Celtic Football Club</p>
	<p>JUSTIN CURRIE - [DEL AMITRI] </p>
	<p>The Facially hirsute Jock rocker who fancied himself as Jim Morrison meets Morrissey enjoyed fifteen minutes of fame with 'Nothing Ever Happens' and 'Always The Last To Know' [probably less if one takes in the respective running times]. Faded into deserved obscurity after the well meaning but incredibly lame 1998 Scottish World Cup anthem 'Don't Come Home Too Soon'. Last observed being rejected by a fat Goth girl in a Glasgow nightclub.<br>
LOWEST EBB - Getting political on a children's music show with his completely ill-informed economic spoutings, witness: - 'There's so much poverty in the world. Why don't they just print more money?' The words 'hyper' and 'inflation' spring to mind Justin. Proof positive that Rock Stars should be seen and not heard.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - Always a source of great amusement watching him ride around town on his bright green push bike whilst wearing matching leather Gestapo trench coat and trousers.</p>
	<p>CHUMBAWAMBA  </p>
	<p> Pretentious bunch of Yorkshire Agit-Prop ne’er-do-wells who made a career of alleged satirical pastiches of their more talented pop rivals. An imagined Anarcho-Socialist cutting edge disguised its utter banality. A career spanning twenty plus years spawned only one hit, the nauseatingly popular student anthem 'Tub-thumping. With a dozen odd non-entities in the ensemble, the royalties didn't stretch enough to record a follow up. This was a godsend for those blessed with hearing.<br>
LOWEST EBB- Drenching Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott at the uncool Brit Awards 1998 in a protest cum publicity stunt.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR- The stunt failed to capture the 'kids' imaginations and they faded back into the well deserved obscurity from whence they came.</p>
	<p>MIKE PETERS - THE ALARM </p>
	<p>Over mulleted driving force of Welsh post punk flash in the pan's The Alarm. Enjoyed a minor hit in 1983 with 68 Guns. Despite a lack of follow up success, Mikey [as he was then know] refused to give up the ghost and churned out a few more albums of sub-Clash, Welsh orientated political dirges. He is directly responsible for the emergence of the Manic Street Preachers due to the power vacuum for a pious self righteous bunch of tossers created in Welsh music by the demise of The Alarm.<br>
LOWEST EBB - Having to play 68 Guns three times during a solo gig to keep the audience vaguely interested and to be heard above the chatter of gossiping barmaids and hairdressers.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - Easily beaten up or so I am reliably informed.</p>
	<p>BELLE AND SEBASTIAN </p>
	<p> Like Chumbawamba, this overcrowded twee Glasgow band named after some French Paedophile cartoon target students and intellectuals with their lofty, often smutty ballads. Actually they are one trick ponies whose songs all sound like 'Duchess' by The Stranglers. By employing a cynical reclusive attitude to touring in Britain they are yet to be found out. Nevertheless they continue to make a fortune touring South America and Japan and playing to huge crowds who mistakenly believe anything British equals Talented. And Money equals Old Rope. The pioneering missionary spirit of the British Empire lives on in this bunch of charlatans.<br>
LOWEST EBB - Winning the best newcomers at the Brit awards in 1999 via a dodgy e-mail voting scam. Their debut album had been out for three years at this juncture.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - In doing so, they trounced bookie's favourite 'Stepps'. The producer of this truly awful bunch, cheese-meister Pete Waterman, was truly outraged. 'We wuz robbed, we shoulda stood in bed', the old curmudgeon was heard to rant.</p>
	<p>TOM JONES</p>
	<p>Once upon a time the Welsh Elvis was a bit of rough the ladies loved to shower with underwear. Nowadays after too much cosmetic surgery and a pie too far, the boy from the valleys has transformed into an overweight hernia faced day-glo golliwog. Having had the misfortune not to go bum up like many of his contemporaries or retired to the holiday camp circuit where he belongs, we are instead tortured by overly loud bombastic renditions of modern pop ditties, wholly inappropriate for a man of his age or indeed girth. He should know better, but he is either senile or permanently drunk.<br>
LOWEST EBB - Getting the nose job that made him look like the 'Boy David' before facial reconstruction. [Note: David Lopez was discovered in Peru in the 1970's with his nose eaten away by disease, leaving a gaping hole.]<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR- He has some amusing Elvis anecdotes.</p>
	<p>MARTI PELLOW - [WET, WET, WET] </p>
	<p>Born Mark McLaughlin in Clydebank, Pellow further cemented Scotland's reputation for being unable to produce a band of any sustained substance. The Wet's, as the liked to be known, churned out a succession of charmless white boy soul tracks in the 80's and 90's culminating in the witless monster hit 'Love Is All Around'. A bad cover of a bad original. His trademark smug perpetual grinning is made all the more remarkable by the revelation that he was off his head on heroin most of the time. If this was him on downers, how irritatingly ecstatic was he ordinarily? It doesn't bear thinking about.<br>
LOWEST EBB - The seemingly endless mutli-genre hit 'Sweet Little Mystery'<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - He restricts himself to rehab and stage productions these days.</p>
	<p>BOBBY GILLESPIE - [PRIMAL SCREAM]</p>
	<p>Skinny rat faced junkie frontman of the Scream. Once the drummer of Velvet Underground copyists, 'The Jesus and Mary Chain' until Bobby branched out on his own. Primal Scream jumped on every bandwagon available;- politico pop, rock/dance crossover, house, before settling on the time honoured escape route for uncreative British bands of the 1990's, they pretended to be the Rolling Stones. In a remarkably un-ironic fashion, largely thanks to his half-witted fans, he almost got away with it.<br>
LOWEST EBB - Trying to convince rock journo's in the early 90's that he was the saviour of rock.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - The star jumps he often performs in videos are Chaplin-esque in their pathetic-ness.</p>
	<p>ROD STEWART</p>
	<p>The once cool front man of ultimate lad’s band The Faces lost the plot when he thought male spandex and disco mixed. It all went rapidly downhill from then on. A mullet pioneer and surely the alter-ego of raspy voiced Bonnie Tyler [to rubbish to even include in this list] Rod became a hero of the tabloid press for his string of identikit blonde girlfriends. He considers himself a Scot, but we all know he is really a Cockney from deepest darkest London. The sight of Rod dressed in his frightening spandex gear in the late 1970's and early 80's caused many children to have nightmares. The godfather of cock-rock shows no sign of slowing down or growing up.<br>
LOWEST EBB - The serial killing of Tom Waits' Downtown Train and Tom Traubert's Blues.<br>
MITIGATING FACTOR - He once bought my aunt a drink.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/village-idiot_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Village Idiot"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/thicko_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Thicko"><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bored-hitless_01.JPG" title="Bored Hitless"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/bored-hitless_01_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Bored Hitless"></a><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/pop-druid_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Pop Druid"><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/carpetbaggers_01.JPG" title="Carpet-baggers"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/carpetbaggers_01_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Carpet-baggers"></a><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/plumber_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Plumber"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/smug-cretin_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Smug Cretin"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/the-drugs-do-work_01.JPG" border="0" alt="The Drugs Do Work"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/lady-boy_01.JPG" border="0" alt="Lady-boy">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/02/britain_s_worst_rock_stars/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item><default:item xmlns:default="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" rdf:about="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/01/felt_clears_his_deep_throat/"><default:title>Felt Clears His Deep Throat</default:title><default:link>http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/01/felt_clears_his_deep_throat/</default:link><dc:date xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">2005-06-01T16:03:33+02:00</dc:date><default:description>	&lt;p&gt;So at last we discover the identity of everyone's favourite car park stalker. I personally hoped it would have been Henry Kissinger or even old Tricky Dicky himself.&lt;br&gt;
All we need to know now is the truth about 22nd November 1963. But as someone once said ;- 'A man can spend a lot of time wondering what was on Jack Ruby's mind'.&lt;/p&gt;
	&lt;p&gt;&lt;img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/LEE.JPG" border="0" alt="Went To A Party In The County Jail"&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;small&gt; &lt;a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/01/felt_clears_his_deep_throat/#comments"&gt;Comments&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/small&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</default:description><content:encoded xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"><![CDATA[	<p>So at last we discover the identity of everyone's favourite car park stalker. I personally hoped it would have been Henry Kissinger or even old Tricky Dicky himself.<br>
All we need to know now is the truth about 22nd November 1963. But as someone once said ;- 'A man can spend a lot of time wondering what was on Jack Ruby's mind'.</p>
	<p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/l/lairdofhunterhill/img/LEE.JPG" border="0" alt="Went To A Party In The County Jail">
</p>
<p> <small> <a href="http://lairdofhunterhill.blog.co.uk/2005/06/01/felt_clears_his_deep_throat/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>]]></content:encoded></default:item></rdf:RDF>
